This Might Not Work

The 4 most transformational words you could ever utter in your business?

This might not work.

Sounds strange, I know.

But what if those four words are actually the key to more creativity, self-trust, and resilience?

In this episode, I’m sharing why letting go of “This HAS to work” might be exactly what helps you find the path that does.

Because maybe success isn’t about having the perfect plan.

Maybe it’s about trusting yourself enough to come up with the next one.

Doors are open for UNMUTE: A 28-Day Visibility Challenge: a 28 day experience for women entrepreneurs who want to stop overthinking every post, trust their voice, show up more consistently, and become impossible to ignore.

Learn more and join us here:

https://www.tamarcoaching.com/unmute

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:13

Welcome back you guys. Welcome home. I hope everyone's doing well. I am just really the moment I sit down in this chair and I pull up this mic, I just get so happy. I get so psyched to be able to sit down and talk about the things that we talk about, to hang out with you, to have these conversations, and it's just good vibes all around. I'm like, I'm just into this. I think you guys are into this. And I mean, who doesn't want to be in a room of like people like everybody who's just into it all? You know what I'm saying? Anyways, welcome back to Brave Little Things. We're talking about some good stuff today. Before I jump in, I just want to say I've been getting the most amazing messages from all these women who are joining the Unmute 28-day visibility challenge starting on July 6th. So it's like a week away or something. And I'm just so excited because all these messages I'm getting are like literally, I could I could read them to you, but I I think I'll just I'll summarize. It's basically women who are like, I'm so ready to like step into my power. I'm so ready to use my voice in the real truthful kind of way that I've been holding back. I'm so ready, you know. I'm I just, you know, made all these paintings or these ceramic pieces, and I'm so ready to like for 28 days to go all in and tell people about them and share about them. And I'm starting this new offer and I want people to, you know, it's just like so exciting to me for like women specifically, human beings in general, women specifically, just to be like so ready at that edge, just to totally go all in on themselves and their their talents and the their power and their desires. And it's just been so fun. Like, honestly, like I think I just put this challenge on just to get these messages. And if I don't even we don't do the challenge, all good because I'm like super excited. Anyway, there is still a week to join if you haven't joined yet and you want to to get in the room. 28 days, I'll be providing all the things you need, like a you know, beautiful orientation that we'll have a call together all live to really kind of kick off the whole thing. 28 prompts, one every single day with speaking points and you know, all the guidance that you need, as well as I'm bringing in a prof an expert, unbelievable breath work facilitator will be doing breath work with it with us because you know this stuff is we need some uh we need some breathing. We need some breathing because there's some scary stuff. So anyway, it's gonna be amazing. I'll definitely put the link in so you can join. So, guys, today we're gonna talk a little bit about this idea of this might not work because you know, I was sitting with a client the other day and we were coaching, and she was talking about a particular offer that she was doing, and I was saying, you know, like, well, you know, yeah, and and you know, and this might this might not work. And she was kind of so shocked by that sentence that came out of my mouth, and it made me realize, like, oh, you know, maybe not everybody believes, like also thinks that, like also thinks about things in that way of like, and it might not work. And and so I was like, let's let's talk about this on the podcast. I think it's a good one. And I even want to say, like, as a general thing, as we're going into this, I want to actually suggest that perhaps you want to go into anything having to do with your business, but also having to do with your life, with the mentality of like, and this might not work. And I know that sounds strange coming from me of all people, whose job is literally helping people believe in themselves.

unknown 3:42

Right?

SPEAKER_00 3:42

Like I shouldn't be saying like this isn't gonna work, right? Or, you know, I'm usually like, believe in this, you know, manifest it, have confidence. And yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, I love all that stuff. It's not just my me as my profession as a coach, you know, that's who I am. But also, I think one of the most powerful things that you can say to yourself in business and in your life is this just might not work. This might not work. Not because we're trying to be negative, but because you are taking care of ourselves or taking care of ourselves, or kind of, you know, taking ourselves off the hook from needing one particular plan to be the plan. You're not needing to know how it will work, just knowing that one day it will is enough. And it will allow you to pursue whatever you're wanting to pursue in such a more relaxed, chilled-out kind of way. And in a way that you probably will want to come back and work on it over and over again because it's not that pressure that you're putting on yourself if it's like, okay, this is a plan and this has to work, or else, da-da-da-da. Right? I think so many of us walk around with that unspoken energy of like, this has to, it has to. This launch, it has to work. I have to be making all that money that I'm planning on making. And this post I'm putting out, it has to get engagement. The event I'm running has to be the event, right? And this happens again, also in life stuff. Like, I have to get married at a certain time, and I have to get pregnant at a certain time, and I have to, you know, do this and do that. And I don't know about you guys, but I think almost every one of my quote unquote plans of my life did not happen at that time. Whether it means it happened earlier or later or whatever it is, like, I mean, it it's it just doesn't usually go as planned. And then what happens when you have this have to, that underneath is this like drum like drama. Like if it doesn't, right, then I'm, you know, maybe not cut out for this. Many, maybe people don't want what I have if you're thinking like, you know, you had a launch plan and it didn't work out the way you wanted to do, the way you wanted it. Maybe everyone secretly knows something I don't know. Maybe I should, you know, just quit and become something different. Or whatever it is, there's this like drama, right? There's like can you hear like the dramatic music behind it if like it has to, it has to, right? There's like so much to that. And I think that's where we get ourselves into trouble because this has to, is heavy, it is very heavy. And it's funny because you know, when I coach clients and they come to me with some idea, like I was giving the example in the beginning, I rarely sit there trying to figure out if this particular plan is going to be the plan that that works. That's not my job. My job is not to figure out if this is the exact plan is going to work. I honestly don't care that much. I don't give a shit if this plan is the plan that's gonna work and you know, create exactly what they want they're wanting. And not because I don't believe in them, and not because definitely far from the truth of because I don't want them to have this abundant business and life and all those kinds of things. Obviously, you guys know that is like my ultimate goal. Like my my more than my goal for myself is for you guys to have all these things, but more because I believe in them more than I believe in any one little itzy bitsy plan. Those are very different things. And I think confidence also gets misunderstood. Because confidence isn't the plan is definitely going to work. No. Confidence is this plan might work. It also might not, but if it doesn't, I'm gonna figure something else out. That, ladies and gentlemen, is confidence, right? Not that the plan's definitely gonna work and I'm all for it and let's go, right? And not that you should also like believe in whatever you're doing, right? That's uh I definitely believe that you should believe in it. This is a really great, I really love this, I think it's gonna be wonderful, right? Like as much as there's like this might not work, there's also this is this could work, right? But I think that the piece that we also want to put in is in it, and it might not, right? Because trusting yourself more than you trust plan A is confidence. You know, I I had this client who's a ceramicist. This was, I think, last year. Was it last year? I think last year. And she had all these beautiful ceramic pieces that she wanted to sell. So we were in session and she had this great idea. She was gonna make like baked goods and put up lights and decorations and play music and have this like backyard sale. Can you feel that by the way, guys? Like, how fun is that? Summertime, such a summer vibe. I'm so ready for summer. We're just this is my favorite season. And when she told me about it during our session, you know, I remember saying, like, I love this idea, like just like I'm saying right now, I love this idea. And then I said, and if nobody comes, we'll just come up with another idea. Not because I thought nobody would come, but because I didn't want her like nervous system believing that this one event was life or death, that she would not sell ceramics ever again if like nobody came to the sale. And you know, and so the story goes as nobody came. Well, almost nobody came. I think it was one person came. And naturally her brain did go there. Nobody likes her work, this isn't gonna work, I'm wasting my time. I should maybe get a real job, like my parents have been telling me, you know, I should just like kind of close up shop. This doesn't work. And turns out though, after a little investigation, she came she was shared with me, which after this session, she actually she called me like, I don't know, two hours later and said that most of the people she knew were actually on some giant like Boy Scouts camping trip for the weekend, and that's why they didn't come, which is so freaking hilarious. But the point is that her brain had made one failed attempt mean that she herself was a failure and that this was not gonna work. So the next session we sat down and thought, okay, well, let's come back, let's come back to this. Now what? And she came up with another brilliant idea, which was she has a Pilates friend, a friend who does Pilates, and she has a Pilates studio, and she's like, you know, I'm gonna collaborate with her and do something together. And that's what she ended up doing. She ended up going, they collaborated together in her studio. She displayed all of her ceramics there, and she gave her friend a percentage of, you know, any sales. And within three weeks, three weeks, every single piece of hers was sold. I mean, who knew? Pilates and ceramics. They go together. I actually have a friend who do who sells, who is a yoga instructor, yoga teacher, and does ceramics also. She has an amazing name. What is it called? Clay. Shout out to Ju to Julie. Oh my gosh, I actually love her name. It's called like Claybrook or something. It's like the name of her street, but it's just it's perfect. But anyway, so apparently this go together. She was sold out. Nothing had changed, you know, not her talent in ceramics, not her ceramics itself, not her worth, but the plan simply wasn't it the she hadn't a plan B. And it turned out that plan B was the one that worked, right? And I think this is where so many people quit too soon because they make that didn't work mean I don't work, and I'm not gonna do this anymore, and this is humiliating, and those are two completely different things. And honestly, I think we are taught to approach life like school. Like I talk about this with you guys all the time, right? We're constantly like in this pass-fail test. You know, either you get the answer right or you get it wrong. Either plan A is it, or it's nothing. And as I like to tell you guys, like, no, we're the scientists here. We are always, always the scientists in our businesses and in our lives. We're supposed to test things. We're supposed to gather information, we're supposed to learn stuff, we're supposed to try again, we're supposed to not get it right, and then get it right. Science scientists like don't have this emotional breakdown because an experiment didn't give them the results they wanted. I mean, maybe that I don't the truth is I don't know that many scientists, but that's my guess. They don't seem like very emotional people in general, but that's also a generalization. Maybe they are. There's probably some that are and some are not. But you get what I'm saying. They're they're like, uh, interesting. Okay, hmm. And they keep on going. And I think that's such a more fun way to live and do things. Right, not the this has to work. But more of like, well, let's see, let's find out. This might work, and if it doesn't, we'll try something else. Because there are a million ways to get where you want to go. And confidence isn't believing that plan A is guaranteed to you. Confidence is believing that eventually you'll figure it out, that you are resourceful and creative and resilient. And if it doesn't work this time, you're gonna figure out how to pivot and you're gonna figure out that you can change things and you can go to the beginning, and although it's no never a beginning because you've already gathered information, you've already begun, and you already have more wisdom and more things to, you know, to bring to the next one. You can trust yourself more than any one strategy. Right? And that just feels so much lighter to me. I know I've I've probably given this example, but you know, my husband, maybe, maybe not, but my husband, who's the vegan rabbi, set out to do his first vegan rabbi retreat, which he's been thinking about for a while. He's really excited about it, you know, got the place, got the chef, did the whole thing, and got in, I think, I think he got like eight or ten people in the door, and he wanted 20, which, you know, I'm not his business coach. I never would have told him to go for 20 for his first one, but he wanted 20. And he did not get that. And he ended up canceling. And I will tell you the amount of gold that has come from his cancellation of him even just going through this process of trying to do this retreat. So much has happened besides the fact that two big donors, like who are super into v his work and veganism, the whole thing, saw him, you know, online and marketing this and reached out to him and are now like collaborators and funders. But he it just spurred, like he just changed the way he does marketing now because he loved the way he did it with the retreat, and just so many things came from it. And so it's like, okay, you know what? Maybe it just wasn't the retreat itself, it was not the plan. But that it was like the plan B was like just to like put it out there to learn the skill of like learning how to market it and then allow whatever other beautiful things could come from it. And that's kind of how I see it, right, guys? That like this might work and this might not work, and either way is fine because you have you, you are the variable in it all. And if you if it doesn't work that first time, that's cool because you have enough in you, you are strong enough, you are powerful enough to figure it out. I like to say this also to my kids, right? When something doesn't go their way to kind of reflect back to them like, man, and like, you know, obviously not to to you know ghost them, but to, you know, put like a not let them grieve if something's upsetting to them, but then to remind them, like, you know, listen, that's cool because you're you. So I know you're gonna figure it out. Like it's a shame. It'll be it's really so fun when the first time it works the way you want to work. But if it doesn't, that's cool because you're strong enough, right? And it's just a reminder for ourselves. And truly, guys, this is a vibe completely of unmute my 28-day visibility visibility challenge. It's all about like, let's see what happens, what will work, what won't. Let's, you know, create, let's use our voices in this particular way. What will the people say? How are we going to draw them in? Like, let's just see what happens. And I would love for you guys to come and join and be the scientist of your own, you know, marketing world and your own voice and whatever you're bringing to the world, because this might not work. Might be the most powerful new idea that you bring into your life and your business. Well, that's all I got for today. I love you guys so much. Have a beautiful one, and I'll see you next week.