How To Be A Badass

In this episode, we’re talking about what it actually means to be a “badass", and why I kind of hate that word and have stopped using it besides for the use of this episode. 

Because honestly? Most women are already badasses.

Our mothers, our grandmothers, the way we hold life, business, kids, emotions, everything… it’s already there.

But there is one piece of “badassery” that I think really matters.

The kind that actually changes your life.

And it’s this: Being the kind of person who does what most people won’t.

In this episode, I share what that looks like in real life—not just the exciting stuff (cold sea dips, early morning walks, planning big, playful experiences)… but also the really unsexy, repetitive things that no one talks about.

We talk about:

• Why the word “badass” can feel cringey—and what’s actually worth keeping from it
• The difference between doing what’s hard vs. avoiding what matters
• The “boring” habits that quietly change your life
• Emotional badassery (aka feeling your feelings instead of avoiding them)
• Why consistency > intensity every time
• And how to start identifying where you’re already showing up powerfully in your own life

This episode pairs really well with last week’s episode on accessing your inner strength—this is what that strength looks like in action.

If you’ve been waiting to feel more ready, more confident, more clear…

this might be the nudge to start doing the things you already know.

Mentioned in this episode:

• Noga Erez and what makes someone a badass in real life

If this episode hit something for you, do the world a favor and share it with someone ready to step into their next level.

And if you’re local, last tickets for the National Networking Dance Party are (maybe) still available. Grab yours here: https://www.tamarcoaching.com/dance

and if you're personally ready to take all the contents of this podcast to a new level that can really impact your life and business, book your 1:1 consult with me today:

https://www.tamarcoaching.com/consult

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hey friends. Hello, hello. Brave little things. Welcome back. Welcome home. Hope you guys are doing good. Back on the podcast, back on the episode train. I hope you guys are enjoying your life, the weather, your families, your friends, all the good stuff. So today, what do we have in store today? Well, we've got in store today a lot of really good stuff. We're going to be talking about how to be a badass, badass three, and all the good stuff. But before I jump in, just want to say I've got a special bonus happening right now for all those who sign up for a coaching consult with me, which by the way is complimentary. It's totally free. And then from there, sign up for coaching, one-on-one coaching with me. I've got this amazing coaching package that really is an unbelievable experience. You ask any of my clients, it's completely allowing you to grow into your confidence and your clarity in your business as well as in your in your life. I would love to say that we are not growing businesses. Our businesses are growing us. I think it's very true, Polly of Parenthood as well. But anyway, if you for the month of May, I've got a special happening, but if you sign up for one-on-one coaching with me, that you are going to get one of my beautiful workbooks called Not Your Mama's Scheduling Workbook, which is a five-step process of how to schedule your beautiful life on your terms, the way it works for you, and takes you step by step through the process. And you are not only going to get this workbook in a little download in your computer, and then you've got to like look out of your computer, or if you've got the energy to chug over to a copy machine place, and no, I'm going to send it to you in the mail. Remember, guys, nail mail, you're going to get a package from me with this workbook in it. So for the month of May, this is what's happening. It can begin starting now. I know it's not May yet, but it's going to be May. So if you're interested, you can and I put this in the show notes. Sign up for a consult with me, get on a call so we can talk. See if we are aligned partners in making your business and life dreams come true. And if so, you're going to get a little fun bonus. So check it out. Anyways, like I mentioned, we're talking about how to be a badass today. And I just want to say, I feel like I have to say this. Okay. I will say this that in the beginning of my business, I would like use this word badass, badass, how to be a badass, all everywhere, all over. I mean, it's like such a coach word. Like it, you know. Anyway, since that time, I'd say for the past year or maybe two, I've definitely have stopped using the word badass for the most part. A little it it kind of is a little gaggy for me. I even actually have a book. I think it might be called How to Be a Badass, something like that. It's like really it's an amazing book. It's by a woman named Jen Citron, I think her name her last name is. I should actually get that. It's actually going to be one of these book books that I'm giving away as a raffle prize, along with three other books for my national networking dance party as a raffle prize. But anyway, I would like cover the book if I was like in public, like on a train or something. So the word badass has definitely changed for me. I think mostly because I think that it's really it's overloaded and it's super cringy, the word itself. And I think that women specifically, I'll talk about women right now, have been badasses for forever, for centuries. And we've talked so much about like how to be a badass. And it's like, no, no, no, no. We've been badasses. I mean, women have been raising animals and families and taking care of husbands and farms and you know, out on the fields at, you know, 5 a.m. and back making dinners and lunch, like and all over the world, right? And so I felt like we are badasses. And so a lot of what I actually talk about and preach on is actually how to be the rested, nourished woman more than how to be the badass, because we've got that. So it's a kind of a funny thing that I'm here like recording an entire episode on how to become a badass or how to be a badass, but only because I think there's a the the word is known. It's like how I call my networking group Joyful Networking, even though networking is kind of cringy to me. It's just all of a sudden you immediately feel like the stiffness of it, but it's like nothing like that. But people understand when I say networking, so they'll want to come. That's why we're talking, that's why we're calling it uh, you know, how to be how to be a badass. Because I think you know what I'm talking about here. So I hope that was a long dis I've never done that before. I've never told you, like, you know, that I don't actually use this word, but I'm gonna do an entire episode on it. But there is lots of beauty and lots of strength and lots of growth in the idea of like badass three and and what you could do to become a badass and all those kinds of things. So that's why I'm going with the word for the moment. So let me tell you, I'm gonna tell you today, I'm actually gonna focus only on one aspect. One thing, if you were to focus on this one aspect, you would become the badass of your own life. Excuse me. Okay, only one thing. If you focus here, you can absolutely create what you want. And that is simply the willingness to do things other people don't or won't do. It is literally that simple. I think when you talk about badassery, that's what it kind of boiled down to, right? Doing things that are very scary or uncomfortable for other people or too disciplined, and they people don't want to do it because it feels like too disciplined, whatever those goes into those categories of something that people other people would not want to do or won't do, and you're willing to do it, that's badass. And, you know, this episode is very much paired very nicely with the episode prior, the one I had recorded to you guys the other week, which is how to access your inner strength. So if you haven't heard that, you can go back and check that out. But, you know, this there's definitely definitely overlapping ideas here, but it is such a beautiful, like a be like this it's such an amazing idea of like being able to do things that other people don't want to do or won't do. Okay. I know that like, you know, I have definitely been been called a badass in my life many times with my clients, my networking circles, my community, my friends, all those kinds of folks in my life. You know, they'll mention that, they'll say those kinds of things, oftentimes tied to how I've shown up during this time of war, how I show up in my business, how consistent I am in recording my podcasts and writing my emails and showing up for my people, also how I show up to motherhood and how I show up for my kids and how I process things and how I do all those kinds of things. And I I agree. I really do agree. I really do think that I show up in a badass kind of way to my life a lot, again, because of the willingness that I am to do things that other people won't do. That is literally the only thing that sets me apart from anybody in that kind of way. And then, of course, like my own mentors, you know, I will watch them and see like all the things that they do that I don't yet do, right, that they're willing to do, that really has me see them in this badass kind of way as well. And so it really comes down to that. It comes down to the, you know, your ability to feel uncomfortable and doing it anyway. And again, we have spoken about this in our in the last episode in terms of how to access our inner strength. And I think I just want to talk about a little bit more because I think it's such a good thing to focus on. And I think especially because in my marketing and my things I've been talking about, because I've been kind of staying away from the badass conversation because of everything I spoke about in the beginning, I kind of want to come back a little bit more and be like how important it is to like do things, to there is a place where there is hustle and doing things that feel pushy and that feel like, you know, put you in a vulnerable state. That's really important when you're wanting to grow something so big and strong and mighty as the business and life that you want to grow. And I really I think that they can be like really kind of two categories of badass stuff that you can do to kind of help you step into those, to the role of that. And some of them are really, you know, one category is like can be really sexy, and I'll explain what that means. And the other category can be like super boring. And both I think are really important in order to kind of step into your life in what this what we're calling like how to be a badass kind of way. So I'll give examples of my own life, and other people have different examples, and you'll have different examples for yourself too. But, you know, on my like sexy badass stuff, for example, I do things like getting up at 5.15 a.m. to go for very long walks in the fields where I get to see the sunrises and rainbows and crazy bird migrations and little ant tunnels and like just really amazing stuff. But I get my ass off out of bed insanely early to do that, which many people would not want to do or won't do, right? I think mo a lot of people want to do it, but they won't do it, right? I will go to the sea in the middle of the afternoon to take a cold dunk in the sea. Now, that might be on the list of people don't want to do it. But I also don't want to do it, but I do it because it wakes me up, it makes me feel alive, it makes me feel like I'm on a little adventure, even when I'm just like doing my daily life of like grocery shopping, taking care of kids, coaching, all that kind of stuff. Also on my list is like planning, planning really fun, epic adventures, both for myself and for my family, and sometimes for even other people. And you know, I really I I cannot tell you how many people are like I cannot plan. I hate planning. I do not want to plan. And I just well, this is a little bit different because I actually love it. It does not feel challenging to me, but because of my ability to be able to plan, and then I get to take myself as well as my family on different kinds of vacations, I get to like really do very strong, alive kinds of things because of that. And too many folks are not willing to get past the planning part so that they can get to the adventure, right? You gotta get to that part and then you get to the adventure. Many folks are not willing to do that. I also plan fun, playful events for grown-ass women. So I'm I've, you know, I'm a not director. It's not a director. I'm a uh founder, I guess, of this joyful networking group that I've told you guys spoken about. Many of you who are listening might even be one of my members. Shout out to you guys. But we do amazing events once a month. We meet also online, but once a month in person. And I have these women like playing, like playing games and laughing their asses off and just being really playful and all those kinds of things. And the reason why this, I kind of could put this in the category of badass is because I really I took a risk because most networking events are very adult and they're chatting with professionals and they're sharing and they've got name tags and they've got all this kind of stuff. And I kind of feel like I'm a little bit of a badass with this because I took a risk and formed this very, you know, I don't want to say kindergartner-like, we're not like kindergartners, but very playful, unquote unquote networking kind of group in a whole different kind of way. And it's been a success. Everyone wants in. It's like super, super fun. So I kind of put that in the category. Anyways, and there's a lot of other things. But then let me go to the boring list, okay? Because this is just as important. My boring badass stuff, right? And uh this is definitely a real flex, I will say, is making oh, by the way, I'm sorry, really fast. Okay, forget that one. I'll just move on to the next one, the boring stuff. Okay. Something that I do is I make a daily schedule and I actually follow through it. It's actually not a daily schedule, I make a weekly schedule. So every week I will sit down and create a schedule for the following week. Okay? It's tedious, it's boring. I will sit down and like write out all the things I want to make happen and accomplish, and all the things that I want to make happen and my, you know, my meet time and all that kind of stuff. I'll take the time to do it, I'll put it into my calendar, and then the week, the next week, when I show up for it, I show up for it. I do it. I listen to it. And most people don't want to do this. And it is very boring. It's very boring to kind of show up for that thing, for that thing. But I do it, right? I also eat very simply. I eat the same foods, like every day, so that I'm not like trying to figure it out. I'm not running around, you know, what should I think, you know, I'm not le I'm I'm not having food be my entertainment. I'm just like, you know, making it happen, eating healthy, good food and food that I enjoy, but I'm not I'm not making a whole deal about it. I'm keeping them really simple, which is also really boring, but also kind of badassery. And allows me then to have more energy and focus on other things. I also just do the same thing with my workouts. I will do the same workout over and over and over for months. I will not spend hours on YouTube or this or that trying to find a new one. I will just do the same workout over and over and over. And let me tell you, it can be very boring. But I show up for it, I get up early for it, I do it right after my morning walk, and yeah, kind of feels badass because it's like most people wouldn't want to first of all get up for the workout, second of all, want to do the same thing over and over. Also, even just this recording a podcast every week for you guys, even when I don't feel like it. Like kind of badass. Like I sit down, I write content for you guys, I, you know, tell my kids, don't knock on my door for the next hour or whatever it is, and I record a podcast for you. Kind of badass. Can't wear going with this, guys. I do this also with my emotional work. I'm very in touch with myself emotionally, mentally. I have a tool that I use in my coaching and in the coaching I use with my clients. I use it on myself too, my self-coaching tool. And I get into my head, I become aware of my thoughts, I find out what's going on, I find out, you know, why that's going on and how I'm feeling about it, and I sit with my emotions, all the kind of stuff that a coach would say I do, and it can be really boring. But I will tell you that it absolutely brings me back to myself every single time, and it definitely feels badass because it's like a real thing that I'm returning to that I have to have real discipline for that most people would not want to have discipline for. So it really is. And this is like, you know, these are all things that no one is gonna be clapping for you, or yay, well done, high five, like we used to get as little kids. This is stuff you have to do when the curtains are closed, doors are closed, every no one can see you doing this, and you're doing this for yourself, you're doing this for your future self. And it's just like this kind of silent pride that you have for yourself that allows you to kind of keep keep doing it, keep going at it, right? You know, it's badass is about really the consistency and the willingness to do it. It's like this combination of consistency and willingness, which are two things that us little human beings oftentimes do not like bringing to the table, do not like showing up for because it's the opposite of what our brains are wanting from us. Right? And I would say it's it all of these things that I've been doing, again, these are just my examples. I would love to hear what your examples are when you take the time to think about it, but I am like not special. Not not I'm not special. I'm not, I'm not I mean, I am special, you're special too. I'm not like a unicorn. I'm just willing to do things on purpose that many other people will avoid. And I'm just getting started. There are so many things that I also want to be doing that I haven't done yet, because I haven't been willing to do them yet, and my list will still be gr will still be growing, you know. I want you to think about like who somebody you know or also don't know but know of that you think of as a real badass when you think of badass. When you think of like a bad a badass person, like who comes to mind for you? Because we can learn a lot from that. We can really do, we can really like study somebody to learn who we think is like a badass or who we think is whatever trait we're wanting, what are they doing in order for them to for this to happen? What are they thinking? Who are they being, right? Somebody who comes to mind for me, for sure, when I think of a badass person, is a artist, musician, Noga Erez. Maybe you're familiar with her. If not, you should look her up for sure. She is an Israeli performer. She just performed at Kut Coachella, the festival in the States. I think she was the first Israel female Israeli who performed there. And anyways, her story actually just recently went up because she just performed there. And she was like openly sharing on her stories and on her feed about the challenge it was to get there because it was, you know, in the middle of the Iranian war, missiles flying, most flights not happening. She had to get her entire team to the States. She also has a baby. So she was traveling during war. She was, you know, again, the first Israeli performer who was there. There's crazy anti-Semitism happening and all this stuff. And she worked her ass off and made it happen. She got her entire team there, and she did an unbelievable performance. And not only that, but she also then stood up and spoke about, you know, the intensity of what's going on in the world and what's going on here in Israel, and you know, and just her love for music and all this kinds of stuff. But how she showed up was so badass to me, like saying things that could have been controversial or political, right? And it wasn't an against anybody, but she was speaking from her own ex you know, her own personal experience. And, you know, and making and like just say, like, no matter what, I'm getting my team there. We're gonna figure this out. I actually don't even know the details, but I think a few, like, you know, probably had to go down to Egypt to get crossed over to, you know, whatever. They like literally walked through the desert in order to get there, but they got there and she performed and she did an unbelievable job. And, you know, whenever I think of her, I think of badass. She just like is who she is. She's gonna do what she's gonna do. She's gonna do things that many people are not willing to do. Like, am I willing to stand on a, you know, international stage right now and speak about Israel or whatever? Like, I don't know. I I like to say yes, but I doubt that. And so she does like really badass kind of stuff in that kind of way. So think about it for yourself. Like, who is your badass person and what makes them a badass in your eyes? Like something to really think about. And you know, like we were talking about inner strength last episode, you know, this concept, this is kind of the like, you know, the this kind of like the the expression, the like in external expression of inner strength. Right? When you have inner it's like internal inner strength, the external expression is showing up like a badass, right? This is really truly why kind of these cut what I said, like these go together like wine and cheese, like they really go together in a really kind of beautiful way. So I want to leave you guys with some questions to ask for yourself. If you yourself are desiring a little bit more badassy in your life, okay? And you'll you can, you know, you can slow this down and write them down and and then take time take some time to journal them out. But here are the questions. Where have I already been a badass in my life? Where have I done things others would not? And if you're thinking, I don't none, I haven't done anything that other people wouldn't, think again. I am sure there's at least one thing that you have done that other people in your life would not do. So respond to that, okay? Where have I followed through when it was hard? This is a really good one, right? Where have I followed through when it was hard? Okay, then I want you to answer these questions. Where do I want more of this? Where am I avoiding something I know would change my life? Where do I want to build the ability to do what most people won't? Okay, and lastly, where do I want to become the kind of woman or man who does what ninety-nine point nine of people won't do or would never do? Right, where do I want to become the kind of woman who does what 99.9% of people who won't do? Okay? And listen, guys, also, if you don't want to become a badass, you don't have to. But I will tell you, when you're willing to push yourself beyond your own limits and push yourself beyond the limits of people in your life and in your world, you get to have the gift of knowing yourself even better. You get the gift of getting to be one of your your very best friends because you need yourself by your side when you're doing scary things, when you're doing things that most people don't do, when you're pushing through your discomforts, the only person you really have to rely on yourself is you. And that in itself is the best gift of being a badass, in my opinion. So, take it or leave it. I'm just sending you guys all so much love. Have a beautiful day, and I will see you next time.