When Life Really Sucks

I was planning to record an episode about self-confidence this week… but life had other plans.

Between war, missiles interrupting daily life, having to postpone a big event I’ve been planning for months, and watching one of my kids go through something really painful, it felt more honest to talk about something else.

What do we do when life just… sucks?

In this episode, I share the mindset tools I use when things feel overwhelming, unfair, or completely out of my control. We talk about how to acknowledge the pain of hard moments without getting stuck in them, the kinds of questions that actually help our brains move forward, and how difficult chapters can shape who we become.

If you’re going through something heavy right now, this episode is for you.

And when you're done listening to this episode, hop over to www.tamarcoaching.com/group and sign up for my free monthly group coaching call to gain fresh new ideas and perspectives on your business and life. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:13

Hello, my people. Welcome back to Brave Little Things. You know, guys, I I had a whole other episode planned for you guys today. I was gonna talk to you about self-confidence, how to create self-confidence in your life, how to you know make make that happen on purpose, all these good juicy things. But I quickly changed the topic because of the freaking week I'm personally having. I imagine many folks out there are having the same. If not this week, maybe it was last week, maybe it will be in two weeks. So I think this was just a good episode in general, which is when life really sucks. Because let me tell you guys, right now, life is sucking. And listen, I hope if you're out there and you're not feeling this way, maybe, you know, pick another episode to listen to today. I definitely don't want to take you down this place. Although it what I am teaching you are tools to make things suck less, so there is positivity here, but I'm just in it, you guys, and I just felt like, you know, it's a good time to record a podcast on this when life really sucks, you know, because this is real stuff. This is things that we go through as human beings all the time, and so here we are, and here I certainly am. So, by the way, isn't suck such a good word? It's interesting. Suck was actually one word I was not allowed to use growing up. It was my parents, my dad specifically did not like the word suck. He hated it. I could say shit, I could say lots of other words, but suck I could not. But you know, suck is actually such a perfect word, especially for what I'm talking about today. If you could imagine, like when I like what I'm saying, like when life really sucks, it's like this suck, like it sucks life out of you. You know, like I I feel like I could feel the depletion in me when I'm like saying suck. So I actually think it's a beautiful visual for what we're talking about today. Uh, anyways, in time of recording, we are currently, my country at least, is in the middle of a massive war with Iran. Missiles are raining down left and right, day and night. Kids are home from school, you know, everything is closed, can't even go get a good coffee somewhere, you know, everyone's kind of locked in together. Definitely living in some crazy war fog. Like it literally, by the way, guys, it literally took me three days to send a coaching agreement out to a new client. This is something that usually takes me about, I don't know, 20 minutes at the most, but it's just this war fog that just sucks you down, that everything just extends and takes a lot longer. So that's kind of like where I'm at. But to tell you the truth, that's not even what's sucking for me right now. That's actually stuff unfortunately I am somewhat used to, just because we've been in, you know, in and out of war for the past two and a half years, more in than out. And it is unfortunately the way of life here on many levels. But so I'm like, you know, and also by the way, I'm like, I actually love having my kids home. I am a homeschool at heart mama. I say homeschool at heart because my kids never really officially homeschooled, but when they were younger, we took them out as much as possible and took them out hiking and whatever. And I've always wanted to do like world schooling with them, and I semi-did it. I did it like twice a year for a few weeks here, nothing extensive. But anyways, but bottom line is I've enjoyed my kids at home. So this is not even the sucky part. For other people, they might hear this and be like, oh my God. But it's like they're well, for example, because of the war, just minutes ago, I actually had to cancel my big national networking dance party event that I've been, you know, you guys have been hearing about it, been talking about on the podcast, talking about all over social media, have I think it's like 36, 37 amazing women in the door. This would have been my last week to push it out and make it happen because it was gonna start this Sunday. And yeah, I had to cancel that. I had to get on the phone and spend hours speaking to all my vendors and, you know, re-booking a different date for venue, see what's even available, you know, speak to all my women who've signed up and reassure them that it's gonna happen. It's just, you know, like I'm gonna have to, you know, totally choose a new date and all those kinds of things. And which PS, by the way, when I do bring it back, it's gonna be better than ever, which is really is definitely a a fun point about it. Like I know, I'm like have ideas about rebranding it and just making it even uh more expansive in many different kinds of ways. But the point is that today I have spend all my time undoing things that I was doing for so long, which is the most annoying thing for me. For my for my misproductive, you know, what's it called, addiction. Like this is like, are you kidding me? I cannot have more waste of time. And this is not the first time that I've had to do this. This is the second time in two and a half years where I've had to cancel something that I've been marketing, investing my time, my heart, everything into. I had to cancel my Costa Rica retreat that I had booked in the beginning of the war, and you know, and I had to like, you know, I had put up, you know, spent so much time promoting it and sharing it and all these kinds of things. So this is definitely not the first time. And then, you know, on top of all of that, I've also one of my my kids, one of my kids is was really hit hard with something incredibly disappointing. And, you know, if you are a parent out there, or even more so a mama, because let's just, you know, gotta say, mama's got a special something going on with them and their kids, some connection that I think no other parent has, I just have to say. But you literally feel like sucker punched in the gut. Like, not even actually just one time, but like over and over. Like I truly feel like when something is going on with my kid, when they become very disappointed in a situation, I feel like somebody, or more like something, this particular thing that's happening for them, is just like taking me and it's just like punching me and punching me and punching me over and over and over and over. And you know, I feel like I have a good head on my shoulders. I'm a coach, I've got lots of tools, and yet you mess with my kid. And I'm not even talking about like a person, I'm talking about like a thing, you know. You mess with me, and that's what I feel like. I feel like you can't I can't even come up for air, you know, when my kid is going through something that it feels so disappointing and you know, they feel they've been sucker punched. I feel like I've been sucker punched 1200 times. So, you know, it's like this is where I'm at, you know, it's like between war, canceling this event, you know, watching my own kid suffer and have a really hard time going through something. I was like, okay, girl, you can't be talking about self-confidence right now. Although I will tell you that self-confidence very much has to do with this topic because self-confidence is so based on can we make it through these hard times? Can you stand by your side no matter what is happening for you and still be there for yourself? Right? So that definitely self-confidence is happening here, but this that will be another topic for another day. But I definitely was like, listen, you gotta, tomorrow you gotta, you gotta, you know, tap into your, you know, how to deal with life, like how to make life suck less tools so that you can tap into it and you can like use and it get some relief, right? Not complete, it's not gonna be like, oh yeah, I'm on the other side, I'm totally good, but to get some kind of relief, like some kind of less suckiness, and then bring everybody along with you. Teach them these tools because I'm sure they're going through stuff too. So this is my this is me doing it right now. And let's use, let's go ahead and use this episode, guys. I want this like episode to stay on the platform, on the podcast platforms, so that you can kind of come back to it over and over and over again. Because let me tell you, and I know this for myself also, I know this for my kid, I know this for everybody here who's listening. This is not going to be the last, it's definitely certainly not the first, and it won't be the last time where you are feeling like life freaking sucks. This sucks. Actually, I was just had gotten off the phone with my sister right before. I just written this out. I just written this whole podcast out, and before I hopped in to record it right now, I was just texting with my sister, and she's like, you know, she's like, I can't, I'm like, let's let's get on a call. And she's like, I can't even talk. I'm like in such a pissy mood. And I was like, Oh, that's so funny because I just wrote out a whole podcast about how life sucks and about to record it. So we are like right there. So yes, it's a very human experience I think many of us are experiencing. So, you know, let's go. Let's talk about sucky things because sucky things come in all different kinds of forms. Aren't we lucky guys? Sucky things are there's so many variety, right? Sometimes they are completely out of the blue, right? Like for example, a diagnosis, right, an illness, someone dying, right? A car accident or some kind of accident of sorts, war, right? And sometimes they come from putting yourself out there, trying something, taking a risk, and it not working out the way you want it to work out.

unknown 9:23

Right?

SPEAKER_00 9:23

Example of of my kid actually, in this exact exact example, right? She went out and did a really, really big thing and she gave it all like it should have worked out. It's like one of those situations where it's like, of course it's gonna work out. Like you've set it up to make it work out. Everything you you put everything together to make this work out. And then when it doesn't work out, you learn she like really feels like she has been punched over and over and over again because it's like a shock. It's like a total shock, like what just happened? Right? And also sometimes it becomes like a and what happens there and that in that moment is like you kind of feel like, and I know she feels like, I wish I had never even tried. Because what's the point? Right? What's the point of doing it if it's not even gonna work out that way? But whether the pain comes from like life happening or you putting yourself out there, the feeling can be exactly the same. It just sucks. It just really sucks. Right? Feeling like something sucks does not mean something has gone wrong, though. This is an important thing to know. And I've kept on like kind of reminding myself right now in this moment, like life is filled with these moments. There are they're just kind of part of being a human, right? So the question that we really want to ask ourselves is how do we move with them, right? Not how do we push them away, how do we get rid of them? But here we are living as humans, living all living this suck, right? Because half the time it's gonna be really wonderful, it's gonna go our way, it's gonna match up, everything's gonna be great, and half the time it's gonna really suck. Obviously, it's not the perfect equation, but that idea that we've got a little bit of this and a little bit of that. So, how do we move with this as human beings? So, you know, I kind of tapped into my tools again. I'm like trying to help myself out here with like making it suck less, and I want to pass it on to you guys as well so that it can suck less for you. So we can all be in a suck less club. You guys in? I'm definitely in for this. So I'm gonna give you like a couple steps I know that work for me, and and in this order, it's really important to go there. And this is something that I also I was able to tap into this because oftentimes it's very hard when you're really in it yourself, but I kind of brought myself out of it for a moment so that I could help my own kid who's really going through it hard. And so this is kind of like what came from it, okay? So the number one thing, the step one, is just to acknowledge the blow. Like say it out loud, like something freaking terrible happened. Like, really, like say it to yourself, say it to anybody around you. Let yourself like really go to town and just go for it. Really kind of like, woe is me story, as much as you want, like wallow in it. Don't try to get yourself out of it. Like, this was not fair. This sucks. It should have been this way, right? All that stuff that as your coach, right, I'm usually helping you move from. I'm giving you full permission when you're like right when you're in it, just to go fully in it. And you can give yourself a time period for this, right? Like, for example, yesterday I gave my kid, I'm like, why don't you do that for the entire day? And when you wake up tomorrow morning, you decide that then that's it, that you're done with that story. But really let yourself go to town of like, you know, really do the whole a tantrum, like, you know, banging your feet and everything, and tell anybody you want. I will sit here and listen to you the entire day, the entire night, and tell me the story of why this sucks and why you're angry and why you're sad and why you feel powerless and this whole thing, right? So let yourself do all those kinds of things that usually we try to like act as adults and we don't do. Like I'm giving you permission to freaking go for it because it sucks and we want to hear it, and you want to hear it, and you want to get it out. Okay? Like you're really gonna feel like you're gonna for a little while feel like you are walking around with this like very awkward, heavy handbag. Like not even a backpack, because a backpack will like help loosen the like like it distribute the weight, and you won't really feel it. No, I want it to be like a handbag with like think of like a couple books, maybe like, you know, things are stabbing out, like it's awkward, it's weird, it's uncomfortable, and you're like schlepping it around from place to place. That's how it's gonna feel for a little bit. And let yourself like really be pissed about it. Okay. Only after that moment and that time do you move to the next stage, which is choosing which emotion you want to stick around and stay. Right? After some time, you want to ask yourself, like, which emotions here that I've been experiencing make sense right now. And which emotions are actually tak making things much worse and taking up a lot of space and really not, you know, really not benefiting me at the end. Right? Like if you are really upset, let me give an example. I'll give the right example of my event that had to cancel. It makes sense why I am disappointed. Right? I planned this. I'm so excited, but I've been talking about it, got myself pumped up, got all these people pumped up, like we were like literally almost there, only two days away, and had a canceled event. That makes sense that I am disappointed. What doesn't make sense is this story that I've also been telling myself of like, it's not fair that other entrepreneurs living in other countries can just set dates for events and they happen, and that's why they're so successful, and that's why I'll never be as successful as I want to be, because I live in a country where, you know, any day, any moment there could be a war, and then I have to cancel another event and I have to spend my time doing that. That was keeping me stuck. That unfairness, that I can't, you know, this is happening to me story. But feeling disappointed is real, and I want myself to get to experience that and feel that. I know I'm not gonna feel that forever as long as I allow myself to feel it. So you want to get really clear here about which emotions you want to say, okay, you can stick around. You make sense. That makes sense. This is a real thing, and which emotions are your kind of helping push you towards a place of suffering. Not just pain, but suffering. Right? So you want to get clear right there. And it really and it really does matter because it will move you from feeling powerless to powerful or the opposite where you felt like you had power and now you're feeling powerless. Because the only thing we have power over, guys, especially in these situations, is our freaking mind. And so, you know, oftentimes we do not have power over the thing that sucks. And so the only thing that we can kind of bring in and get clarity on is like how do we want to think and feel and which emotions are taking up space and which emotions just make sense and they're gonna pass through. And oftentimes when we allow like all of it, when we allow the things that are not benefiting us, that then leads us to even we basically sucker punch ourselves over and over. It's no longer the thing itself that we're so disappointed in or upset about. It's ourselves because then we find ourselves like doom scrolling. Hello, raise your hand. Have you been doom scrolling like crazy lately? Right? Totally takes over. Drinking, emotional eating, dramatizing the story, telling it over and over and over again. I can't tell you how many times I've heard my kid's story, right? Like over and over and over. And again, in the beginning, yes, I want you to do that. I wanted her to do that, but then when you're kind of moving into this next place, we want to be able to also let it go. Because all it's doing then is like you sucker punching yourself over and over and over. And we want to be able to kind of move from that. Okay, so then we want to go to stage three, which is asking good, juicy, quality questions. Brains love questions, but we usually ask terrible ones that make us feel like shit, that's filled with so much self-doubt, right? I always like to say it's like we've got this like inner teenager that's living in us that's always like, Why would you do that?

unknown 17:47

Right?

SPEAKER_00 17:48

Like how they're asking questions like that are so like rude. All right, and so we're kind of tapping into our wise owl woman era, or whatever you want to call it. And she asks really good questions. And so when you've moved to stage three of this, you want to ask, Why is, you know, what is the reason why this would be happening to me right now? Right? Not questions like, Why does my life suck?

unknown 18:13

Right?

SPEAKER_00 18:13

That would be the teenager question. Like, why does my life suck? No, we want to ask, you know, how could this make me stronger? What could I learn from here? From what's happening right now? What could I learn from it? What might this experience prepare me for? Who do I want to be inside this moment? All right, these are really great questions. When you have a chance, you can write these questions down, right? And I loved I'd love to really think about it. I'd love to, I love to like really investigate. And again, you have to really be in it, there's a particular stage of this, like when life is sucking thing, you have to be in a softer place, and which is why I take you through the different stages to eventually get here, because it's very tender. Like I'm definitely not asking these questions to my, you know, to my kid right now. She's not ready, right? And I haven't even, like, I've just slowly, slowly started to tap into these questions for myself with this whole event experience that I had to cancel. But even just like writing up this podcast has softened me up to be able to like, you know, respond to these questions even after I record this. But it's just really good to know, like, what can I gain from this? Why, you know, why is this happening, but not in a negative way. Like, why is this happening to me? Right? It's like, how could I use this to my benefit? How can I use this to like grow me in, you know, as an individual? You know, give an example, like, you know, for example, in college, I went to NYU and I really wanted to get into this amazing, very popular class. It was like feminine, you know, feminism and I don't know what, you know, some funky class. The professor was supposed to be amazing. The class was supposed to be incredible. All my friends, all my really good friends got into the class, and I did not get into the class. And I was so pissed, and I was so upset, and I was so, that's not fair. I, you know, I was there early signing up and I didn't get it, and oh, the whole the all the stories that you can imagine. I was really upset. And I basically what happened was to fill that slot, like that slot that I was supposed to take that class, instead I started volunteering at a midwifery center that was a few, like, I don't know if it's the side of town, whatever. It was a midwifery center, a birthing center where women would come obviously to give birth. It was a really beautiful space. It was amazing midwives that I got to work with. I was st starting to really get into the whole I was a social worker. I was working with pregnant teens at the time while I was, you know, in university. And I was getting really into like birth and looking into midwifery, becoming a midwife and or a doula, which I ended up going on to become a birth doula. Anyways, I started volunteering at the center and I loved it. And then later, I think the next year or the next year and a half, I decided I was actually going to go to Australia. And so I went to Australia for a year of college, and there I then became a volunteer at their hospital through a connection from the Manua Free Center in New York City. I volunteered in Australia and I was helping um Aboriginal women in giving birth. And because they what happened was I'm not going to go through a history lesson right now, but it used to be a time when Aboriginal uh Aboriginal women, this is the native women of Australia, they would give birth and their babies would be taken and given to white families. So much stuff happening here, so much different racism, all this kind of stuff. And so they now have a woman in the room with them that's specifically there to help them feel safe. And you're keeping an eye on them, you're keeping an eye on their baby, make sure their baby doesn't leave their arms, the whole thing. And it was the most moving experience. And I wouldn't have had it if I had it, if I had gotten into that feminist class, which I'm sure would have been great, but I've taken lots of great classes in college. And so instead it led me to the With Recentre that I volunteered at New York City, which then led me to the one in Australia that really was like life-changing was such a special experience. So, you know, at the time it felt freaking terrible. Like I felt so left out. I'm like the, you know, youngest of four in my family. I don't like to be left out. I'm major FOMO. It felt so much FOMO because all my like best friends were taking this class. But looking back, like that rejection or whatever you want to call, not getting into that class, completely changed my life. And so with these questions, it helps us give us like a little peek into that, a little taste of like how our lives can be changed, you know, eventually. And we don't even have to go fully in there, but even if we get like a little peek through the door, like some light comes through the door when you're in that suck, it's a little bit of a relief, which is really amazing. And then that leads us to the stage four. Right? We want to give our brains some anchoring thoughts. Sometimes we need like simple, stabilizing thoughts. And, you know, these should be thoughts, by the way, that we already believe and that we don't have to work to believe. Because lots of times we could tell ourselves, like, that's what you know, people will like a mantra will be like, you know, just you know, say, is it called a mantra? I think so. Where you say these things like you look in the mirror and you're like, I am beautiful, I'm the most amazing, all these things. Those things do not work if you do not believe them, and in fact, do the opposite. So this is not what we're talking about here. We're talking about things, thoughts and beliefs that you do believe right now. Right? So here are some examples that I like and that you could totally take. This horrible thing happened, but my life is not horrible and it is not over. Okay, this is only one chapter of my life. I very much see this for my daughter, for my kid, right? Like she doesn't see that because she's like so in it and she's only lived a certain amount of life, but I just know, like, this sucks. This is so terrible, and she's not gonna remember this, like, come five years. Or if she does, it's just not gonna be the same experience. It's not gonna be the same drama and tragedy, right? The next thought that I really love is we have no idea what is meant for us yet. We just have no idea what's meant for us.

unknown 24:38

Right?

SPEAKER_00 24:38

So, for example, with my event, like I thought it was supposed to be International Women's Day. That was like a perfect day. I'm doing a women's event, net networking, dance party, the whole thing. And for whatever reason, it wasn't meant to be then. And so I'm just going to believe that it's the exact date when it's supposed to be is going to be exactly when it's supposed to be. Because listen, there are a lot of women who that date didn't work out for, and now they get to come. So that's pretty amazing. The weather's gonna be more beautiful. There's lots of reasons I don't know that I'm just gonna trust are like it was meant to be. Another thought is I guess this is happening because it's happening. All I need to know is like, the own, I don't need to struggle and work hard of like, why is this happening? Why is this happening? It's happening because it's happening. And so that's all the proof I need, right? And then the last piece to really like, you know, when you have that thought, when you've got that anchoring thought that you want to and belief you want to hold on to, ask yourself like, why is this true? You know, ask yourself how and how is this true? How can I prove this to be true? And that just allows it to become even more grounded in you and more and stronger. We want to build it up. We want to give our brain real information of why this is actually true and evidence, because it just becomes, you know, more imprinted in who in ourselves. Okay. And listen, uh oftentimes, you know, I really this is something I really love to remember in this time, is that oftentimes these experiences, these crappy, sucky, awful, terrible experiences, yes, I'm still in it, so I'm still gonna like talk trash about it, they're the ones that help us grow our compassion and our wisdom and our kindness and our connection with other people. It's the painful ones. Very often so. They suck now. So they won't suck later. I love to think about this. I know I've I have I do like a workout, like a hit workout with this instructor who says, like, wobble now, so you won't wobble later. She's talking about like, you know, when you're in a position and you're and you're shaking. Oh, she says shake, not wobble. She says, shake now, like you know, your leg is shaking if you're in a particular position for workout. So you don't shake later, right? It's like the same thing, like suck now. Like, you know, you're going through this sucky experience so that later it won't suck. You're kind of getting it out of the way on some level. I that one I love. I love thinking that. I love remembering that because it lets me know where I'm going and why I'm this, why this hard. Sometimes we don't we don't know why we're going through the pain and that there are hard, right? Just anchoring ourselves in that idea of like, well, we don't need to know, but we do know that it does bring in the growth of this of you know, compassion and wisdom and kindness and all these things that we want, you know, we want in our lives, oftentimes come through the pain and the suck. Right? So at the end of all of this, the question we are really asking is can I become someone who can handle whatever the freak comes my way? Because life will always bring moments that suck. That's the bottom line. The goal is simply to build your I know how to handle this muscle. I know how to make this happen muscle. Because if you have I know how to handle this muscle, then you're good because you'll be able to handle whatever the hell's coming your way. And that is really what we're trying to do here, right? Even now, I can like see it happening, you know, even with my event being postponed, you know, and like I can see how I can I'm taking care of myself. I'm sitting down, I'm recording this episode, I'm recording it for me, I'm recording it for you. And that already feels like a more powerful version of me. I can see how this is already changing me. How like, okay, this is not, you know, for a while the story was like, here's another event I have to cancel, and now I'm going through it. Now I'm picking up the phone and I'm changing the dates and I'm talking to people and I'm trying to like, okay, wait, this feels very particular. I want to help myself get through it because this sucks. I hate this. And I want to help you guys do the same kind of thing. And so I'm taking action. And through that action, I am seeing, like, and I'm really just like actually honestly just like experience this right now, this moment, like I'm seeing more this power coming through me that like wasn't, you know, 20, 30 minutes ago. And that's what it makes us do. These sucky things make us rise if we want to kind of move through it. And the same thing with my kid. I have to say, I've been watching her go through this really devastating, you know, feeling really defeated, feeling like this doesn't, this this is not fair kind of stuff. And then I like, you know, like two hours before I came in here, I already saw her being like, okay, like what are my next steps? So where do I, you know, what do I want to do next? And she's already kind of growing into this identity. It's got like it has she has like simply, you know, she didn't get the results that she wanted, so she's ready to like move in another direction so she can go and get what she wants. And she wouldn't have had that chance to become this version of herself if she wasn't in completely devastated about not getting what she wanted. Right? Because we listen, guys, we something I really want you to watch out for when you're in this space is this like victim trap. Like when life sucks, your brain will offer you that you are a victim. It is very, very tempting to think like you are a victim. There's no way of getting out of this. Life is like, you know, after you and all these kinds of things, but we want to keep on asking those questions that move us in the opposite direction, towards our growth, towards our agency, towards our strength. Those questions I offered, you know, up, you know, the in a little while ago in the podcast, you can go back to them, but like, how is this he why is this here for me? All right, I really like to like think about it like that. This is here for me. I don't like it, and I would do anything, especially when it comes to my kid. I would do anything to give this shit back. I am like not about them having to go through the suck, even though I know that the suck is where so much of the growth is, right? So there's like I'm I I can feel both ways. I know ultimately it's it's good for them. But the bottom line is that we have to kind of like go through it in order to be able to go towards all the things that we want here. So just closing up here, guys. If life feels really hard for you right now, first of all, I just want to say I'm sorry. I'm with you, I'm here with you, and I'm here in it as well. And also, you've got this. This is part of being a human. This is a part of growing into the kind of human that you want to grow into. And, you know, maybe we can find a little bit of relief and less suckiness in the suck if we can see it also as kind of a partner in growing into who we want to become. Every time you move through one of these moments, your capacity for life and who you want to be grows, which is really what we want. All right, guys. I just want to remind everybody here also that my group coaching call, I offer monthly free group coaching call every month, and it is such an amazing space to come together. And yes, there are lots of conversations about sucky things happening in your businesses and in your life, and we do a lot of coaching around that. And you know, if you are like digging this podcast and these different episodes, and they've been really feeling like very, very helpful to you, I really want to encourage you to hop on and just press that link. You can go to tomarcoaching.com slash group and sign up for the next group coaching call and get what you get what you need. That's what I'm saying. Come get what you need so that you can, you know, really feel whatever you're needing. If it's relief from the suck, if it's, you know, relief from the confused brain, if it's whatever it is, come and get it. I love to have you in my space and get to know you better as well. So that's it for today, guys. I love you all so much and talk to you next time.