Fight for what you want

What does it really mean to fight for something you want?

In this episode, I share a personal story about my son going after something that deeply matters to him — what it’s asking of him, what it’s costing him, and the simple but powerful wisdom that’s keeping him in the game. From there, I zoom out and explore how this idea shows up in our own lives, especially in relationships and in business, where so many of us quietly give up before we’ve actually fought.

We talk about the difference between wanting something and being willing to live the season it requires, why not all wants are meant to be pursued (and why that’s okay), and how to get honest about what you’re willing to do — and who you’re willing to be — to stay in it.

This is a real, grounded conversation about commitment, honesty, and choosing consciously, without hustle, pressure, or pretending it’s easy.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:13

Yo yo yo, welcome back. Brave little things happening in your ears. What's going on, guys? Hope everyone is doing well. We're gonna talk about some good stuff today. Some something that maybe you're gonna need to hear. Get a little light under your butt, the way I need it also, which is fighting for what you want, which I really love this topic. And, you know, last week, yes, in last um episode, I shared a little bit about what's going on with my kids, but in particular with my son. He was, you know, the time of recording in this really big training. It's not really a training, it's a like, it's hard to translate into English, but a a course to see if he's gonna get into, you know, potentially an elite unit in the army. Anyway, thank God he got it, which is unbelievable. And this is kind of what I want to talk about today, because this is like very much in my world right now, in my mind, what goes on with my family, as I'm watching my own son fighting for what he wants in the most major, most unbelievable, most I can't bow down, holy moly kind of way. I'm just blown away by watching my kid. I feel like I'm learning so much. He's like totally my coach. So I felt like I wanted to talk about this because I think that there's too many of us out there who are not fighting for what we want. And that could be in all different kinds of areas in our lives. It could be in our relationships, it could be in our businesses, it can be in something that we're going after. And just watching my son fight for what he wants, I was like, we need to talk about this. We need to sit down and talk about this. That's what we're doing today. So again, I want to give you a little bit of a background of you know what's going on with my son, you know, which is again, he went for this big, it's not a training, I'm trying to translate it, but it's like a tryout, basically, like a selective type of thing. And and if you want to get into an elite unit, you first have to do this like whole day where anybody's allowed, anybody's welcome, you know, country kids from all over the country come and they do this like really like grueling hard, crazy day. And it's physical and they do some emotional stuff, and they're digging different holes and all this different stuff. So he passed that, which is unbelievable. He, by the way, I'll tell you a little bit. He took so what happens means is that you either get to the next level, which means then you get to actually try out. It's a whole week that you go into where you get to try out to get into these elite units. There's like one more level that you have to do, which is what he's in now. And out of 10,000 kids that tried out for this, only 400 got a spot to try out for the elite unit, and he's one of them, which means it's 400 kids total, and he's one of them. 4%, which proud mama moment right here. But anyway, so he he he did a very funny thing. He's definitely my kid. He pretended that he did not get in. He pretended that he did not get to that next level. He told us, he texted us and said, I'm really bummed. They just told me that I didn't get in. He was not with us, he was about two hours north. And so I immediately tried to call him so I could talk to him, and he like just texted, like, listen, I really don't want to talk right now, but I'm okay, you know. So, anyways, I'm like all in coach mode, mama mode, mama bear mode. I'm also like thinking, okay, this is gonna be a great podcast. Like when you fight for what you want, you don't get it, which by the way, will be a great podcast one day. Anyways, a couple hours later, I think two or three hours later, 10 at 10 p.m., he walks in the door and we're shocked because he's not supposed to be home yet. He's gonna come home like four days later or whatever. And he looks at me and he says, I was lying, I got in. So it was like super fun. I wish we had gotten the whole thing on video. We didn't, it's okay, it's in our hearts, it was incredible. But the piece is that what I have watched my son do for the past, not only this period of time, but really for the past year and a half, is fighting for what he wants. He is getting up early to do these long runs. He is also going to these dunes, the sand dunes, at midnight sometimes, in the rain sometimes, in the cold sometimes, to do these crazy maneuvers and digging holes and running. And I mean, I can't even tell you what's going on there, but I know that it's insane. I know that he's away for hours on end. He has completely changed the way he eats. He complet he's been giving up something that I actually didn't even think about until a conversation that I share with you later today today about this this conversation that I had with him yesterday in the kitchen, which is also socially, he's been giving up a lot. He has, you know, he gets up early or he goes to sleep, you know, because he needs to get up to to be able to do all these different runs. And just kind of he can't do certain things. Like we've been talking about going somewhere where there's snow. My kids, you know, l living here in Israel, we don't experience snow. So to like go and maybe snowboard or ski, but like he can't do that right now because if he God forbid it were to get injured, it's literally like Olympic training. That's what he's in. And he is willing to do all those things. He's willing to give up time with his friends, you know, adventures and experiences to go and snow snowboard for the first time, you know, time where he's just like, you know, spending two, three hours sometimes working out and being really regimen in that kind of way and his eating, all that stuff he's willing to do because he is fighting for what he wants, which is to get into one of these elite units that he's been so much wanting to do. And it just really blew my mind. So yesterday, you know, I was talking to him in the kitchen because right now he's in he's in a what's called a like a they basically do like a pretend, basically in two weeks' time, he's gonna be going and doing a week of the final like selection process where he'll really know if he gets into the unit that he wants and which unit and all those kinds of things. And it's supposed to be like the crazy, like think Survivor, if you've ever watched Survivor times 700 because of the physical stuff they have to do. I've heard just crazy stories. So, anyways, he's in like a training for that right now, like a where they pretend it is that a stimul a simulation, is what they call a simulation. So I was talking to him yesterday about it. I'm like, you know, I just can't, I just am so in awe. Like I'm a person who does a lot. I I like, you know, I've always worked out, I get up really early, I make schedules, I do things that like a lot of people feel like, how the hell do you do this? And so I'm like saying to him, like, I do a lot of stuff. How do you get yourself to do what you do? And how do you like stay in the game? You know, and I was specifically asking him, like, when he's during these like very hard trainings or selection courses, or you, you know, I asked him, like, how do you do it? And what he said to me was that he he has a couple thoughts that he brings along with him, which is mostly about I'm like, you know, that this is almost over. He said to me, right. He said that like I just keep on remembering that this is almost over and this is not how it's always going to be. And that's what allows me to keep on going. I say, like, I can push, I can push, and I can push, because at the end of it, I'm gonna be done, and I'm gonna be so glad and so proud that I'm done. And I love that. And actually really reminded me of my own my births, actually, completely brought me back to my births because that's what I would always say to myself. I'd say, like, I'd remind myself, which like of course, it's like, duh, like, I'm not gonna be giving birth for the rest of my life, but I kept on saying to myself, don't worry, like that, like there is an end to this. You are not forever going to be having contractions. You're not gonna be forever, you know, you know, pushing and all those kinds of things, and allowed me to stay in like the birth game, which is so interesting that that's exactly what he does in terms of like how to stay in the game when he is like running hard, when he is like competing against the like the strongest, most dedicated dudes like in this country, which I thought was really pretty amazing. And just kind of really again brought me back to this topic of like fighting for what you want and you know, all the different areas that it shows up in our lives and how much so many of us are just simply not. You know, like for example, when it comes to like relationships, and this can be both romantic and non-romantic, you know, there I've heard so many stories. Listen, I coach so many people, and we coach a lot on business, and with that, you know, it's really a holistic experience to be like building a business. And so therefore, my coaching is that. So I'm not just coaching on business, I'm coaching on all their aspects of their lives when it comes to, you know, hardships they're having with their ex-partners and their ex-husbands and ex-wives and issues with kids, parenting stuff, like all the stuff. And I've heard so many stories where folks will share with me, like that someone just like said, like, I'm done, I'm walking away, I'm not in this anymore. And oftentimes it'll be like my client who would just be like, you know, and what happened was that they just were like, okay, I guess this is what it is. If they don't want it, they don't want it. And I'm not advocating at all for like fighting for somebody who doesn't want it with you, but I am advocating for if you want it, if you know that this feels like there's something in it that you want from this relationship, that yes, that you should fight for it. That you should fight for it. Because oftentimes what the other person is asking is like, fight for me. Just fight for me, right? Sometimes it's not. Sometimes it's like you could fight for it, and they're like, no, I really don't want it. And then it's kind of like you close it up. But at least have that fight. At least give yourself a chance to fight for it. I remember specifically a story in my own life. I had a my best friend in high school. We had a very complicated kind of codependent friendship. That's a phone cast for another day. We both were really struggling, as I mentioned. You guys know, like I was anorexic in high school. My best friend had a lot of struggles of her own, and she kind of came from a broken home, you know, and it was just it was challenging. And but I loved her and I loved we were like each other's safety within the all the unsafety happening around us and inside of us. And one day she kind of, you know, she said, you know, I think we should stop being friends. And I know this was about also, I was actually about to go on a trip, like not a trip, but uh like a few months in Israel. My high school, we we in our junior year in high school, we go to Israel. You can as an option for a few months. And I was about to do that. And I just kind of knew that's where it was coming from. She was really afraid I was leaving her, and she kind of wanted to leave me first and all those kinds of things. But she was like, listen, I think that we should stop this friendship. And I was like, yeah, no. I said to her, like, you totally can walk away if that's what you think you need to do. But I love you. I always love you. I will write you letters when I'm there, right? Remember the letter to letter writing guys back in the day when you would write letters? I would write you letters, and I I just really love you, and I feel like you've been a huge, huge part of my life, and I wouldn't give it up for anything. And so you can walk away from me. I'm not gonna walk away from you. Which, by the way, hello, I was 15. Like, can we just have a shout out for past for 15-year-old Tamar? How cool is she? But she was just kind of new, like, I'm not okay with this. And if she wants to walk away, obviously I can't do anything about it, but I'm not walking away from her. And it felt really right and it felt really good. And let's you know, we stayed, we remained friends for through college, and in college, we just kind of went in different directions, which was fine. It was the right time for us to part ways, but but we definitely remained friends and had lots of incredible experiences together after that. And you know, guys, it comes up in business all the freaking time, telling you, coaching on business all day long, and I can't tell you how many folks are like they share an offer, like they've got this, they're really excited, they're ready to go, they're just you know, they've got this amazing offer happening, and they share it a few times, and there's no response, there's no maybe there's no likes, there's no comments, there's no, hey, you know, I want it on this. And I can't tell you how quickly my folks will be like, I think that I think it's not, I think it's not working, it's not right. I just changed my offer, I'm gonna just drop it, it doesn't make sense, people aren't into it. And it's like, no, like we as entrepreneurs have to fight for our offers. We have to fight for our people, right? We have to be able to be the ones to explain over and over and over in all different angles why what this can do for their world, how this can rock their world, right? Beyond a little flyer in a few different words, putting it up once or twice or three times, right? We have to fight for that. And so you know what it takes is us first of all falling in love, like really being like behind what we're putting out there, what we are offering to our people, and then being like, and no matter what, this I I this is what my people need. I understand that. I know that. And it might take my people a long time to understand that. But I'm gonna keep on pushing it, I'm gonna keep on offering it, and I'm gonna keep inviting people in because that's what it means to fight for what you believe in, fight for what this what you believe this offer can do for the world. By the way, when I say offer, right, just to explain, I'm talking about something that you've created in your business, right? So it will be potentially a workshop, a retreat. Um, if you're a coach, coaching, one-on-one coaching, group coaching, if it's you know, a course or a class, all those kinds of things that we put out there, right? That's what I'm talking about when I say offer. And too many people are just like, they give it a little go, and then they're like, oh man, people aren't responding. Forget it. I'm not doing it. No. You have to freaking fight for that. You have to fight for that. You have to think about it like in the terms of like everything I just shared with my son. How he would get up early and or he he would, you know, be working out late. He would be changing his food and take, you know, the way he eats food. He'll be, you know, signing up for like training classes that he knows is gonna kick his butt over and over and over. Right? He will tell his friends, you know, 19, that's not easy. Tell his friends, like, I can't go out tonight, I'm not gonna be able to do that, and be able and socially isolate himself just to stay in the game. He will say no to adventures because you know, he he doesn't want to get injured. We have to think about it like that. Like, what will we do? What will be our equivalent when we're going out there and wanting to share about our businesses and share about what we can bring to the world? Right? We have to be willing to do things. And that's a big deal, right? So, you know, it's funny. I so I have this joyful networking group. I know I've spoken spoken to you guys about it before. Once a week I open it up and I give a prompt and then I let people kind of share about their offers. And so this week I had put out the question, what is one thing you've always wanted or desired, but you're not going to go after because you're not willing to do what it takes to make happen, right? And I asked this in this particular way because I want people to want. That is so important. When you people wanting, it means you're healthy, that you're like you want to be growing, you wanna like you the to have a want is the most healthy thing. It makes you feel so freaking alive, right? Which by the way, my if you want to know my response and my answer to that, I said, you know, I'm wanting to be a pro skateboard chick. And I can't tell you, I get so if I if I zone out to any reels, it's like the skateboard chicks, like watching them like go down the beach and go down these big, what are they called? Ral, not rallies, railings, maybe something, like all these cool moves that they do. I mean, they look so freaking cool. And I would really want to be that. I want to be like, you know, oh casual, just like with my skateboard in my hand, just walking down the street, and then boom, out of nowhere, I like hop on it and I'm like gliding everywhere and like blowing everybody away. I would love that. That would be so freaking fun. But I'm not willing to fall and get hurt. I'm not willing to take time away from my business, my kids, my family. Like I'm not willing to because it takes serious, serious time. And so there's things I'm not willing to do in order to become a pro skateboarder. So it's like, but I still want it. And I'm okay. I'm not judging myself for not doing the things. That's okay. But I still am naming it, right? Because it's good to name our fantasies. It's good to feel alive in that kind of way. Right? There's all different kinds of wants we get to have. There's wants that we already have, by the way. Did you know that? That there's wants that we already have, and it's amazing to name them, right? Like I really want to live eight minutes away from beautiful beaches, and I do. And I really want to have four freaking incredible kids who like I see as my friends. Oh, and I do.

unknown 17:06

Right.

SPEAKER_00 17:07

So we get to name those. And we also have wants that we know we want, but now's not the time. This is not the season of life, and we'll pursue it later, and that's cool. And then there's wants that we'll never pursue, just like I was talking about the skateboard stuff. It's good to want those know those wants also. And also just be like truthful with yourself. Like, I want this and I'm not gonna go for it. I'm not willing to do the things, right? And then there's the wants that we're talking about today, this episode. Wants that that we deeply, deeply want and we're willing to fight for no matter what. We're willing to do all the things no matter what, just like my kid is doing right now, right? So we want to get clear. Like, what am I willing to do? Right? It might be really, really freaking boring. It might be incredibly uncomfortable, it might be lonely because oftentimes when you're doing these things, when you're fighting for something, you're really kind of standing out from the crowd because most people won't fight for things. So are you willing to do that? Are you willing to do things you've never done before?

unknown 18:11

Right?

SPEAKER_00 18:11

Are you willing to do the things like my kid does working out at midnight, strict food regimen, right? Reading tons of books on how to get your mindset in the place that it needs to be. Are you willing to give up social time? Are you willing to do those kinds of things? That's what we want to ask ourselves. Because there are things in our lives that we do want to fight for, and we need to be honest with ourselves of what we're willing to do in order to make that happen. Right? So really, I just want to leave you with this, guys. There is nothing wrong with wanting something and deciding you're not willing to do what it takes to make it happen. That is not failure, my friends. That is just honesty, and I love that for you. But there is something quietly painful about wanting something deeply and pretending that you don't, or giving up before you actually fought for it. So let this be your moment to check in with yourself. What do you really want? Like what do you really want? What do you want and what are you willing to do in order to make it happen? Right? And you want to ask yourself, will it be hard? Because it will. The answer always will be yes. Anything worth fighting for is going to be hard. So what are you willing to do? Who are you willing to be to stay in it? Because this season you're in, it is not gonna be forever, taking the wise words of my son. But it is asking something of you right now. Okay. So I want you to go off on your own little what will I fight for journey and really decide like what are the things that I'm wanting that I, you know, I'm just gonna want, but I'm I'm not gonna pursue right now, or things that I want that I already have, or things that I want that, you know what, I'm I want this, but it ain't gonna happen. I'm not willing to do this stuff, and that's cool. And what are the things that I want that I'm gonna go full on in and go for? Alright, guys, so before I wrap up everything, I just want to say quick reminder. Um as I'm recording this episode, we're almost no, we are fully half, we are past halfway sold out for the networking dance party. And if you are feeling the pull, I want you to come in. The networking dance party, just as a reminder, is is gonna be freaking epic, by the way. It is my twist on networking. There's gonna be dance, there's gonna be very playful and very fun activities, networking activities. There's gonna be amazing food, and it's gonna be incredible. By the time you actually this drops, it I could be full and closed out, so that's a thing. But I'll I'll put in the show the show notes the link if you want to go check it out. And also, as always, I have a monthly free group coaching call that is totally free, and it is happening every single month. You can hop on my website, find out when the next date is. I really I what I love about those is that it takes like all the people that I get to know via Instagram or the folks who are listening to me on the podcast who get to know me, but I don't get to know them, and then boom, they're in front of my screen, and I get to coach them and I get to see them and I get to like experience them, which is so fun. So you can hop over there onto my website and see when the next one is and jump in. Alright, guys, fight for what you want, or also lovingly release it. Either way, just choose consciously. I love you guys so much. I'll see you next time.