You’re Doing All the Things, So Why Isn’t It Working?

There’s a moment in business that almost all of us hit at some point.

We’re showing up. We’re creating. We’re doing all the things. And still, clients and money aren’t really moving the way we hoped they would.

In this episode, I slow that moment down and take a closer look at what’s actually happening. Most of the time, it’s not about effort. It’s about value, fit, and whether what we’re putting out into the world is really landing for the people we want to serve.

I talk about why value isn’t something we get to decide for ourselves, how learning “fit” takes time and attention, and what I’ve learned from watching where clients actually come from. 

I also share the idea of the 10-to-1 rule of profitability, and how creating generously and consistently allows value to circulate in ways we can’t always track or control.

We also explore the idea of building a “value bank” in your business. Thinking about everything you create — podcast episodes, emails, free calls, workshops, content — as something that doesn’t disappear, but instead becomes part of a growing reserve you can draw from to support people with ease and generosity.

Toward the end of the episode, I share about a new three-session coaching option I opened for January, called The Success Series, and who it’s for. It’s designed for people who want clarity, direction, or support around something specific in their life or business, without committing to a long-term container.

If you’ve been doing a lot and wondering why things aren’t clicking yet, this episode will help you look at your business with a little more spaciousness and trust.

LINKS:

January Only Offer: Success Series

https://www.tamarcoaching.com/success

Free Monthly Group Coaching Call

https://www.tamarcoaching.com/group

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:13

Hey there, welcome back. So glad to have you guys back. We've got a really fun episode happening today. And yeah, lots of good stuff going on. I hope you guys are enjoying. We're deep into winter now. Now it's officially winter. I mean, I'm actually over here single mama ing it. My husband actually just headed to the States to surprise his twin sister on their 50th birthday. How fun is that? So he took off to New York and is spending a week there with his family and his twin sister. And I'm, you know, solo mommy it here. It always just surprises me. Like, you know, whenever I'm like kind of thrown back into like doing it on my own, it just it's it it's like I really realize how much my kids have grown and changed. Because like the last time that I was like solo mommying, they were so little. It was about nursing and diaper changing and picking up this kid from Gunn from preschool and you know, uh play dates arrangements and things like that. And now it's more like picking up my, you know, girl at From Pilates at eight o'clock at night, and then picking up my other kid from the train coming back from Tel Aviv, and like it's just a whole different, you know. It it I will say it's still challenging. I mean, they say they're bigger, but come on, it's still really like I gotta like, you know, do I'll make dinners. Dinners are like a big deal because now I'm like, especially my big guy, like likes to really eat. He's like, you know, he's like crazy working out, muffled building, da da da. So it's like the, you know, the stakes are high. I've gotta like really think it's like the simple quinoa salads aren't doing it for him, you know. So, anyways, but it's also really fun because when, you know, when you do it when you go into alone mode, you really is a focus, I think, at least I have, when m my husband's not around. It's just I'm just much more focused on my kids, and that's a really good thing. So, anyway, so let's chat a little bit, shall we? Today I want to talk about something that comes up all the time in business. We're gonna do a lot of businessy talking, chatting today. You know, and it's that place where you're like, I'm doing the things, I'm showing up, I'm trying, and yet things aren't really moving, and I can't figure out why. You know, clients aren't coming the way you expected, money feels kind of stuck, and it's confusing, and it's not because you're slacking at all. And almost immediately the brain goes to like effort. How much effort are you putting into it? Like, I need to do more, and I need to create more content, right? I need to be working harder in these kinds of ways. And that's kind of where the brain will go always. I need to push, I need to put more output. But most of the time, that's not actually the thing. It usually comes back to the value, what exactly you're putting out there, not how much, but what you are, and whether it's actually landing with your people. And I'll get into all that in a minute. And I will say also that I've been hearing this. This is definitely a really important podcast because an episode, because I personally have been feeling this, and I shared that actually in a real Instagram the other day, and I've been hearing it all over the place where people really feel like I don't understand. I'm like doing all the things, and it's not coming to me in the way that I like expected, right? So we're gonna get into all that. But first, I just want to take a little pause here and share about my January offer. If you've heard, you know, last week's podcast, you probably heard about it, but in January, I'm offering a special offer that opened up one additional way to work with me, which I don't usually offer, because normally if you want to work with work with me, it's a six-month container. And that's still very much my home base. That's my my go-to. That's what I like to do. I love long-term work because it's long-term growth and it's so it's a beautiful thing to see, this transformation. But I also kept noticing something. I kept having conversations with folks who wanted support, who wanted coaching, who wanted help thinking through things, but not from a place of like, I want to overhaul my whole business, I want to start from scratch or anything like that. But really, like they're stuck on a decision and they're circling back and they want to show up more confidently online, but they keep freezing up. Something feels like tangled in my life or my business, and I want on help, I want some help untangling it. So I was like, you know what, let's do this. Let's do this for the month of January. You know, that to create like a three-session option called the Success Series, and it's very focused and it's very direct. And it's like, you know, going in and seeing, like working through things together, like so that you can leave with clarity and you can actually take back into your real life and your business that you can like, you know, bring in and see the growth. So if that's the kind of support that makes you feel like, yes, ah, thank you for saying that, that's exactly what I need, then you're gonna want to hop into the success series. And I'll put information about it in the show notes. But the only thing I'll mention is that if you sign up for Success Series and afterwards you're like, this is great, this is amazing, I got what I needed, and I want more. And you decide to go ahead and actually dive into the bigger, lengthier container with me. The success series is free, it's on me, and that's a really fun bonus. So, and it's just by the way, this is just available for January. So if you're thinking about it, then you should jump on it, okay? All right, let's do this. Let's talk about well, I don't know. I don't think we can mention it yet. We're talking about value, guys. Value, okay? And I know this can be a very jumpy word. People have lots of thoughts about value, like I want to charge my value, all these kinds of things. But because this is where I see people really get tripped up, tripped up up all the time. When you're in that stuck place doing a lot and not seeing the results, it's really tempting to assume the problem is the effort that you're putting into things. But most of the people listening to this, you guys over there, as well as myself, are already trying very hard. Like I know this because I coach folks like this, because I am this. So the question really is, isn't sorry, the question really isn't, which is very different than is, isn't am I doing enough? It's really what am I actually putting out there? And is it a fit for people I want to work with? Okay, those are kind of like the two questions, because value is not something we get to decide on our own. So that would be really fun and really easier on some level, I guess. But other people decide it by what they respond to, what they take in, what they talk about, and what they move forward and towards. Okay, and sometimes that can feel uncomfortable because we can put a lot of heart into something and it still doesn't land. Let me give you actually a really concrete example here. Not businessy. But my sister and I, one of my sisters, I'm one of four, I'm the youngest of four, but my sister who's the closest in age of me, we are very, very similar. We folks I don't really see it, but um folks think that we look really similar, especially as we're getting older. Our voice is the same. I mean, people really can't distinguish between our voices. It's crazy. We dress really similar, we have similar groups of friends, we have similar passions, we're really similar, and it confuses the heck out of people. Actually, just recently I shared a video in my joyful networking group, my WhatsApp group with my networkers. And I shared this video of my sister pranking my dad at a party we had, which was so fun. I'll tell you about the prank later. It was great. People were so confused, they were like, you know, immediately like it started responding within the group, like, wait, is that you? I can't I'm so confused. Is that I can't like it's it it's like feels like 95.5% you with a little bit of not because we have the same humor and the same voice, the same energy, and everyone I've always gotten confused or anyways, we're very, very similar. And so for years when I bought her birthday gifts, I bought what I would love, you know, thoughtful stuff and beautiful stuff and very me. And every year she'd open it, smile, and say, Thank you. But I I think you should have this. Like these are very your earrings, you know? And I'd go to these amazing places and places that she would love also, right? These little, you know, outdoor fairs and markets and all that kind of stuff. But it kind of became a a running joke. Like I almost like knew, like when I was buying her a present, it was as if I'm just buying it for myself. Because, you know, we would say, like, this joke would say before she even like opened the present, she'd say, like, okay, enjoy your scarf, enjoy your earrings, enjoy whatever it is. And what took me a while to really get was really this is just because I put time and care into something didn't mean it fit her. Even if it was a good gift, even if my intentions were pure, and even if she has the same desires and likes as me, you know, it was like it doesn't, it doesn't mean that it's a good fit. And listen, I love that my sister tells me the truth. Like it makes me feel so safe and comfortable around her. Like I wouldn't want her to be like, thanks. And then those earrings or those whatever go into a box somewhere else. I will tell you actually, I actually wrote a lot, I shared this particular metaphor in a lot of what I'm talking about today via email in an email. I got so many responses back and so many folks being like, Oh my gosh, that happens to me also. Like I could never get my best friend a present that is like right for her. It's always like she always like hands it back to me, which I love that I love knowing that other people are experiencing the same thing. So, anyways, I love that she does that. I love that she's real about it. You know, especially if it's not a match and she doesn't think it's a match for her, and it's not like something that she would wear. But your potential clients won't do the same thing. Your potential clients won't explain it like that. They don't tell you why something didn't land, they don't give you feedback, they just don't sign up. They just don't buy, they just don't follow you on Instagram, they just don't sign up for your newsletter, they don't move closer. That's all they do. They won't tell you like my sister does, they just won't do it, right? And that can make you question yourself and really everything. When really it's just information. That's all it is. There's nothing dramatic about it, there's nothing personal about it. It's just like, oh, that's really good to know. Like, I am not getting it. I'm not getting exactly what they're needing. I'm kind of putting out there what I think I think that they need. And what they're telling me is, no, it's not that, it's something else. And so, you know, for example, going back to the birthday presents for my sister, at some point I was just like, okay, I'm gonna stop trying so hard because that ain't working. Because I really would spend forever. And I also spend a ton of money. I was like really going at it. And so there was one summer we were on a road trip out in California, and I saw a thrift shop like out the window, and I like made my husband like quickly pull off. I'm a huge I love thrift shops, love thrift shopping. So, anyways, I wasn't shopping for her at all. I was completely shopping for myself, and I saw this vest, and it was super cute retro vest, you know, different things like a different shades of purple and and blues and whatever. It was simple, it was practical, super cute, and it was totally like fit her life, you know, like it had great pockets to put things in. She goes for very long walks with her dog in the fields, like everywhere, and just felt like oh, this is gonna be interesting for her. It was only$3.99, and I was like, I'm gonna get it for her. I'll give it to her as a birthday present, and that will be that. She loved it. She freaking loved it. She wears it to this day. She won't let me she won't let me wear it when I'm over. Like she just loves it. And that's kind of what it really kind of clicked for me. You know, value is about fit, not the effort, not the amount of money that you spend. The only way we learn fit is by creating and paying attention. The only way I realized that my sister, like getting, like I only like was able to get to the point where I got my sister like the gift that she really appreciates and that she really values is because I kept on trying all the other stuff. And then I was like slowed it down and allow myself to learn, okay, this is not working for her. This is gifts that would be great for me, but not for her, even if she's similar to me. And so that's a bit the bit. It was like it didn't have to be m a lot of money or a lot of thinking. It was just that she valued it. It fit her and her life. And I started to pay attention. And sometimes we miss, sometimes we miss the value. Sometimes we nail it right on the head, right? This is true in life and in business. But every single time we put something out there in our businesses, we're learning. So there really is no fail because you put something out there. Let's just say, for example, a piece of content, and either people are gonna like it and comment the heck out of it and give it all like, oh wow, thank you so much. I love how you said that. That totally resonates, whatever it is. And sometimes there's like a nothing, like nada. I'm not talking about like 12 likes and like two comments. That's not nada, which a lot of people will in their brain be like, I'm getting no engagement. And then we go through their stuff and it's like, that's actually not true. You're actually getting engagement. But I'm talking about like a really nada, then it's like, okay, good to know. I'm gonna bring it back and I'm gonna like tweak it around. Maybe it's how I said it, or maybe it's what I'm saying. Maybe I need to be getting more into my my clients, you know, frame of mind. So that's information that is not lost. That isn't a beautiful thing. And this is how I think that I think about my own work, right? My podcasts, my emails, my monthly free group coaching calls that I run, my joy, my joyful networking group that I run. It's not about convincing anyone, right? It's letting people experience me in all the different kinds of ways. And also putting out different kinds of things because different people value different kinds of things. There's folks who would like never, ever listen to a podcast episode. Like that's just not their jam. They don't want to spend time, they don't they feel like I don't have 20 minutes, like not my thing, right? And so they're not gonna listen to this, right? But what they do do is they like they love a good email, which is why sometimes I I turn my emails into podcasts and vice versa, because people couldn't you'll use a different platform, you know. So it's about like letting people experience you in all the different kinds of ways. And this is where I want to name something very explicitly. You know, a coach once taught me what she called the 10 to 1 rule of profitability. And the idea is that for every 10 units of value you put into the world, again, like a po a pause, a I'm sorry, a post on Instagram, a conversation you have at a coffee shop with someone, sharing an idea or how you could help them in a particular kind of way, an episode like I'm doing right now, a workshop or a free monthly call like I do, I offer every month, one of those units eventually comes back to you as profit. You know, it's not in a neat, trackable kind of way, and it's not always directly exactly the way you see it, but it but it comes back to you, and again, it's also not perfect. Obviously, not like for every 10 I get one. But the idea is that the more you flow allow to flow out of you, the more value you give out there, there's gonna be one or like one that's gonna come back to you as profit. And honestly, you usually have no idea which quote unquote one it will be, right? You might write a really thoughtful post. Someone reads it, you know, in the morning time, and then by evening they're at a party sipping wine, having a good time with somebody, and they share this thought that that you had shared with them in the email. And this person's blown away, and you know, share, like, oh yeah, you know, I read it from so-and-so's email. She actually has a really great email. She shared some really insightful, nuanced ideas. I really love them. And then this person goes to sign up and they're immediately like, dude, I have to coach with them or I have to, you know, be a part of their world, whatever you're selling. I gotta be in it, and boom, they're your client or customer. And it didn't even come from that initial person who got your email, right? We don't know how. We just know that we put out and it eventually comes back to us, which I think is a really beautiful way of thinking about it. I know at least for myself. It makes me like want to be giving in such an abundant way by also recognizing that I'm also going to be receiving in such an abundant way. Right? And I think that's a beautiful way to be running a business. I don't know about you guys, but that's kind of the way I would want to run a business. And so it really is, you know, this idea that, you know, the person who hires you might not be the person in that free workshop that you ran, or, you know, the one who showed up live to that the in-person that you're doing for your networking thing. But it might be someone three steps removed, right? And this is just about creating value generously, abundantly, consistently, just knowing that's gonna circulate back to you. And here's a way to think about it that I find like incredibly helpful. I I want to, I want you to imagine that everything you create in your business lives in this kind of like value bank. My own coach talks about it like this, like a value bank, that you are creating value, and it's like this little bank on the s on the side or you know, that you go to. And it's like a savings account, right? You have the same idea. You put money in, it's there. And you know, instead, though, it's value instead of actual money. And all the things that you create, if it's you, if you write emails, if you write content, if you run workshops, if you, you know, offer free offers, freebies, things like that, if you do a podcast, everything, all of that goes inside of this value bank. None of it disappears. And it sits there already. And you can be incredibly wealthy in your value bank. So, like, for example, actually this just happened to me yesterday. Or not yesterday, a couple days ago. I was at a consult with somebody, and which is also, by the way, another value I put out there into the world, a free consult, one-on-one consult for folks to really dive in and and learn more about them and let them learn about me and really see how working together could work or or not. And but regardless, people walk away feeling like a major shift in that just one conversation. So, anyways, I had this really great consult with this woman and And she was just like, she was like sold and she just like was trying to figure out the money piece of it, which is, you know, is true for a lot of folks. But, you know, like she was she was really kind of grappling with how how to do this, and then she kind of had came up with some ideas, but she wasn't sure. Maybe she's gonna use the money for something else. And at the end of it, I said, listen, you know, why don't we give like you give you to the end of the week, just take your time, think about it, you know, and in the meantime, I'm gonna send you a podcast episode that I recorded a couple weeks ago. It speaks exactly to what we're talking about here on this call. And, you know, and then go ahead and like, you know, and then you'll be in touch with me, and we'll be in touch with the end of the week. And so she received the um episode like immediately, and she was like, okay, I'm like almost all in. I'm gonna let you know, and she was gonna let me know tomorrow. But it just like helped her understand even more how valuable I am to her. It allowed her, and I didn't have to like fish around for it and all of a sudden create something that I have this value bank busting with value that I can easily, you know, shower onto my people to really share with them like how much goods and wisdom and you know guidance I can provide for them. And so it's like, you know, all of a sudden it's like I don't know if I can be able to pay for it. She shifted to like, okay, I I must figure this out. Like, and I and I really believe that she's going to be my client because I think she understands like what I can I can give to her. And so it's a great thing to have like a busting value bank, right? Just like it is a beautiful thing to have lots of money in your savings account. This is the same idea. And that's, you know, and that's how those ten units of value start working together, right? One episode, one email, one conversation, helping bring in that one unit of profitability. And that energy is just so good, so different. It lets you surround people with that support, even before they have officially become like your people, quote unquote. And I mean, honestly, I don't even love that distinction because if someone is listening to your podcast, reading your emails, you know, sitting on a consult with you, mm, you know, in your feed, all that kind of stuff, they're already your people, right? They're already part of you. I was I see them as also clients, customers already, because they're, you know, because you are are giving them something that they haven't had yet. And the value bank just lets you get be more prepared, more generous, more grounded in how you show up with them. So honestly, I should, you know, I should really record a whole episode just on this value bank idea because there is a lot to it, and I really love it. And I know one of my own coaches was like talking about this idea. It changed so much for me, so I feel like I would I want to give that to you guys as well. But all right, zooming out like for a second. This whole way of working is like is this deeply abundant kind of way because it allows you to give in that in that particular kind of way, like without counting, while just trusting that you will receive an abundance, and maybe not immediately and definitely not predictably, but reliably, like every time. And, you know, this is also, you know, talking about value and creating and really trying to match what my what your people are needing and wanting at the time. This is like what I had mentioned in the beginning, but one of my offers, the success series, you know, forever, for you know, uh really since the beginning of my business, I only have this one offer of a six-month coaching container. And while I'm again still so in that one, I think I really believe in it. I really think that it is such a beautiful time set for folks to get the real transformation they're looking for. I also saw that there is other ways of entering, working together, and getting these different kinds of, you know, transformations and growth periods in smaller pockets. And so that's why, you know, I created the success series, which is another way of showing up in value to my people and matching where they're at, not just where I'm at. And so if you're listening to this and you're thinking, yeah, I want help with this, but I'm looking, I'm not looking for a longer container, that's what this three session series is about. It's really focus support. And, you know, if you complete the success series, by the way, and decide you want to move into my six-month container, it's totally absorbed into it. You get it for free, the success series. So that's a really fun bonus, also. But I really want you to think about for a moment when you're kind of like, you know, going through, like if you're in a stage of, I don't understand, I'm doing all the things, and yet I'm not seeing the results I want to be seeing. I want you to kind of take a moment, take a break, take a breath, and really evaluate. We're not adding things onto your calendar, we're not adding things into your schedule of what else we can be doing. We want to look at what value are we putting out there? And is it the value that our people are actually wanting? Maybe it's outdated, maybe it's what your people, you know, last year were needing, but not what they're needing now. So what can we create? What is one thing that we can create for our people now that they're gonna be all in about? It's matching exactly what they're needing. And this is gonna happen with trial and error. Like you've got to be the scientist here. You've got to go out and try and see, okay, is this what they're wanting? Let's see what people are saying, let's see what the feedback is, let's see who's jumping on it. Let's see how I can communicate, how comfortable I feel in sharing it and selling it and whatever it is, whether it be free or paid or whatever it is. Like we need to kind of be the scientists here. And but when we when you get to the place where you are giving the exact value that your people are wanting, bam, that is the gold. That is the sweet spot. That's when you're gonna see the shift in your business and the clients and customers effortlessly coming towards you and giving them what you want. I want you to think about for a moment, like about your own self in terms of what did you go for? What were like, what did you see, what offers out there, and you're like, oh my god, that's exactly what I need. Thank you for that. Like I'm gonna, I'm absolutely gonna jump up on this. Right? Think about again, it doesn't have to even be in business. It can be about, you know, anything. It could be if it's a particular kind of gym membership. Like I just signed up. There is, I wasn't gonna sign up for anything like workout wise. I work out from home and I do Pilates classes in a Pilates studio. Besides that, and I run at the beach, I was like, I just do, but then there's this new, new-ish, very funky, cool, earthy, kind of hippie like I wouldn't say gym, but has all different kinds of classes. And then they had a special offer where it was like you sign up for one month and you get the second month for free. And and then they and they have like and then they brought in African dance, which is like my my thing. I love it. And so all of a sudden, here I am. I didn't think I was gonna buy anything outside of like my home and I know in the Pilates studio, all of a sudden I'm buying now a pass for one month, but then getting the second month free pass to this place. So think about like the top what have you recently been like, whoa, that is exactly what I'm needing. I find such value in this, I'm going for it. And then think about your people and what will make them jump. What will make them feel like thank you for seeing me? This is exactly what I need. All right, guys. I'm loving you, all you entrepreneurs out there. It is not easy. What we do is not easy, but it is definitely worth it. It changes not only our people, it changes us as well. It is a beautiful, growing connection between all of us. So keep on going. I love you all. Have a beautiful week. I'll see you next time.