Brave Little Things
Bravery isn’t always about facing your fears head-on or accomplishing the impossible. Sometimes, being brave means knowing when to quit, deciding you’re already whole and enough, or choosing not to do the so-called “brave thing” simply because it’s not what you want.
Brave Little Things is about redefining what it means to show up courageously in life and business, taking small, sustainable steps that help us feel more at home in ourselves. Through raw storytelling, diverse insights, practical tools, and real-life practices, we’ll explore all the ways bravery shows up in everyday moments. Most importantly, you’ll feel held as we navigate these conversations together. Because if there’s one thing I know about building a brave, full life, it’s that doing it together makes it so much easier.
What does it mean to choose a brave life—slowly, intentionally, and on your terms? Let’s go there.
Brave Little Things
Gratitude 101: How to Want What You Already Have
How do you actually feel grateful when your brain is wired to look for everything that’s missing?
In today’s episode, we’re breaking down the surprising truth about gratitude: it doesn’t come naturally. It’s a practice we have to create on purpose—and when we do, it can turn an ordinary life into something quietly extraordinary.
I share the story of how recording a short video on gratitude sent me into my backyard, where the tiniest shift in attention cracked my world open.
From my outdoor shower and the herb corner that refuses to behave… to sourdough scraps, a rescued cat, and even my ice bath—this is a grounded, real-life look at what it means to want what you already have.
We talk about:
why Your Brain Resists Gratitude
how winter invites us inward, and why gratitude pulls us back outward
how to create gratitude ahead of time (before the good thing even happens)
the tiny perspective shift that can reset your entire day
how wanting what you have can feel better than having what you want
This is not a cheesy gratitude episode.
This is the grounded, honest reset your heart probably needs right now.
Thanks for being here, pod people. I’m so grateful for you.
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Hey uh hello brave little things, welcome back. We are back with another, hopefully amazing episode for you guys. Gratitude 101. How to want what you already have. How do you like that one? Not a good one, especially in this time, all these different holidays coming in. So let's talk about it a little bit because you know what we're talking about today honestly surprised me a little with how much it hit me this week. All the gratitude. This is let me give you the backstory a little bit. A former client of mine, who's, you know, also an amazing, incredibly magical homeopathist, reached out and asked if I would be a part of something she's doing for her community. It was called this gift of health. 24 days of intentional practice. You might have heard about this. I shared it on social media. I also shared it in my email list. If you're not on my email list yet, also called Brave Little Things. How do you like that for branding? You should get on it because it's good. It's totally different. I really try to create different content for all the different things because it's fun. And you hear it in different kinds of ways. So you should, it's it's a great list to be on. Anyways, I shared with it on my on my email newsletter called Brave Little Things. And every day for 24 days, she and her friend, a friend of hers, sends out a little video and journal prompt to help people move through this winter season and the holiday season, which you know, you know, it can be both the best days of your lives and the hardest days of your lives. So she asked me to create a video on gratitude, which I was so happy to do. But you know, the funny thing is that even though I talk about gratitude literally all day long, every day, in my coaching, in my writing, in my content, in my own personal life, I realized it's been a while since I actually sat down and thought about it. Like, really, really thought about it and really got gathered my thoughts about it. So today I'm sharing that with you because that little assignment that she gave me cracked something open in me. And I'm grateful for that in itself. So there you go. I'm grateful for the for the the assignment of creating a video on gratitude. So, quick note before we dive in, you know, generosity is one of my core values as a business owner. I talk about it a lot because it really does feel like the backbone of why I of what I create as well as why I create. I really do believe that as a business owner, that you know, we put out so many different things into the world, and that always comes back to us. It's kind of like you put out, let's say, like 10 or 8 units of generosity and love, which always just feels freaking good. And you know, one of those come back to us, which is all we need to sustain ourselves and to create a beautiful business. So if you're new here or maybe you have you've been like listening for a while but haven't taken me up on this, this is for you also. I open up a space once a month for anyone who needs coaching on their business. No strings attached at all. Just some expert experience the magic of coaching and the magic of being in a group, hearing other people work through the exact things that you are working through and struggling struggling through. I usually teach for a few minutes at the top, and you know, some kind of tool or a mindset shift, and you know, that helps kind of anchor the room into what's going on, and then we just jump into coaching and I coach in all the things. So definitely the link to register will be in the show notes, so you can go there. You should save your spot, and it's really the easiest thing in the world. So, like, why the heck not? Okay, you guys ready? Let's talk gratitude. So, one of the things I love most about winter is that nature naturally goes inward. Listen, I know last episode or a couple episodes ago, I was going on about hate how I hate winter, which is not false either. I've got a lot, definitely a love-hate relationship, but something that I love about winter is how nature just it's completely a different experience. It goes completely inward. The animals hibernate, the plants literally put down pull down deep into the soil, the trees get quiet and bare, you know. Even humans, we do this too, right? We go into this little cave. Days are shorter, it gets dark early, it's cold, you don't see people on the street after like 4 p.m. And people just naturally tuck in a little bit. You know, it's it I remember being in New York City and the difference of what happens in the wintertime. Did I share that also? Or just it's such a such a memory of like college when like the streets would just be all of a sudden aligned with people again. And, you know, I have a the bottom line is that I myself have a majorly inward part of myself, which most people don't believe. I call myself an outgoing introvert because there's a very much a part of me that is very inward, and I really like that part of me. At first there's there was a time when I didn't. There was a time when I called that shy and you know, and I and and didn't have self-confidence and things like that. But truly there is a huge part of me that is very inward and that likes to go inward just like winter does. But I also love that humans have also created all these holidays in the winter months that pulls us outward at the same time. Like, for example, a holiday that we had just had, you know, we're who were I don't actually celebrate it, but many folks do, Thanksgiving. And I know that and we and also Hanukkah for many for those of us who do celebrate Hanukkah, we just had that. We're rolling into Christmas time soon. There's also many other holidays like Diwali, which is a Hindu holiday also happening in December, January time, and all of their cultural, spiritual traditions happening to summertime. They all have this element of connection, right? Of gratitude, of coming together, right? Holidays bring families together, bring friends together, have a time to really appreciate that thing. And I love that, you know, I love, I love that we are bringing that element into winter, which is just naturally very, very inward. Because gratitude is the opposite of inward, right? It's it's complete connection, it's remembering what's in your world. It pulls you outward into yourself, into others, into something bigger, which is why this season feels like such a powerful time to talk about it, right? The season of winter. It's a perfect time to kind of shine a light on it because it's not necessarily naturally where we go. And this is actually connects to what I'm gonna say next, which is, you know, one of the things that always freaking surprises me about gratitude is that it's not an emotion we naturally experience or even want. Naturally. We naturally don't even want it. Our brains are literally wired to scan for what's not working, what's broken, what's dangerous, what's needing fixing, how can I fix it? Where's the problem? Because the brain's number one job is survival. It's not happiness, it's not joy, it's definitely not gratitude, right? It's not going towards that. It always surprises me because gratitude feels so good once you're like open to it and you go there. But our brains aren't like, yeah, yeah, let's feel grateful. No, it's like, well, let's see what what has gone wrong. What do we need to fix? How do we need to save ourselves? Oh man, our brains are such freaks. Can you imagine if it was like if it was that way, like walking into something new and exciting? Maybe it's like a a certification program or a new adventure, whatever it is, you know, and just being like your brain just naturally being like, this is gonna go great. I just I'm so grateful that I have the opportunity. Like it just doesn't go there right, like naturally, right? That's how it works. Our brains are literally wired to scan for all these kinds of things. So when you're in gratitude, you're basically going against your wiring. You're basically saying, like, brain, I know you want to obsess about what's missing, but we're going to choose this instead. It's intentional practice. It has to be an intentional practice. It doesn't just drop in. You have to create it on purpose. But I'll tell you something for sure that it's always worth it. My experience with gratitude is that it is always worth the work of rewiring your brain because it feels so good. Gratitude turns ordinary life into this quieter, fuller, more connected, kind of extraordinary life. Not because anything changes at all, but because we actually see what's already there. Right? We don't need to create more. We just want to be able to take what we have and just feel like, ooh, this is good. This is really good. Anyway, so after I recorded that video that I was telling you about about gratitude, I, you know, walked into my backyard later that day, and I caught myself doing the thing that we all do. Okay. A little backstory here. Like my I've been really working on my garden and trying to recreate it. It's been a bit of a boring place, I'd say. And, you know, I do this, I I walked into the garden the other day and I had this like scan for what's missing. What's not done yet, what I still have, you know, still needs fixing up or finishing up, and what could be better, right? Just like focusing on all the different kinds of things, like, oh man, those plants died, and you know, I gotta weed this kind of thing, and we still don't have our cedar hot tub, and we did all this kind of stuff. And but because gratitude was freshly fro floating around in my brain, I paused. I got to take a pause. I got to give myself the gift of the pause. And I went, okay, Tamar, just stop for a second. Just look around at what you actually have. And holy man, the smallest shift created this whole new universe in my brain, a total explosion. Like if you could imagine, like, you know, background music blasting when it went off, like like a musical. Right, like for let me take you there. Okay, so you're in pretend you're in my my garden, my little backyard, and you're going for a little tour with me. And the first thing that we see is my outdoor shower. And I can turn on a tiny metal lever and clean water falls out. Clean water outside from a pipe in my garden. Do you know what a luxury that is in the world? I mean, I've lived in El Salvador and I've traveled in many African countries, and I have showered many times with buckets and cups. And here I have an extra shower outside that I walk past every day without even blinking. Of course, I've got like four inside, but I also have one outside. How freaking amazing is that? Okay. Now we're going over to my herb garden. Okay, it's not fancy. It's mint taking over everything and rosemary being like rosemary and these pots that I've had probably longer than two of my kids. And yet things grow here in like real soil in my garden. And I have I can literally just drive 10 minutes and buy plants whenever I want. If I'm like needing a new plant, I just hop in my car and drive to an amazing nursery ten minutes down the road and buy whatever I want. Because I have access to a car. And I have access to money to buy those things. And I have access to time because I'm a freaking entrepreneur. And if I decide, oh wait, before I record a podcast, I want to go and buy you know new plants, I can. I have so much privilege. This is amazing. Are you guys feeling this? Are you feeling this turnaround? Oh, we're not done yet. We're continuing this little tour here. Okay, then I walk over to my compost pile. Are you interested to see how I'm gonna make this gratitude moment about compost? Cause I'm gonna I wander over there and there are sourdough scraps from leftover sourdough bread. There are beans left over from burrito night. Do you know the privilege, the level of privilege of having food scraps? Scraps only exist when there was enough food in the first place. Again, I've traveled many third world countries before to know that this is not something to take for granted, that my kids could not finish their food, and yet we would be okay. They wouldn't go to bed hungry, they would have food the next day. It's amazing. Okay. Guys, now we're coming up to my little delicious little cat. My little guy. This my little stray cat who I basically treat like my fifth child. I'm not even joking. My kids laugh at me about how I speak to this little cat. I'm like, yes, but it'll it tells you I'm gonna be a great grandmother. They're like, okay, fine. Anyways, he's healthy and cozy here because I can afford to feed him. Basically, I have stability. I have enough space in my heart, my emotional well-being to bring in another creature. Let me tell you, this creature has saved me. I mean, I basically started connecting to this cat two years ago in the start of the war, and it saved me. He saved me, I saved it. It's just this beautiful relationship, and I get to have it. And then lastly, we come up to my ice bath. Right? A freaking box of electricity in my garden. So I can just like, you know, regulate my nervous system in the middle of the day, like some some like, you know, whatever, suburban wellness monk. I don't know. I mean, what? I'm like, girl, holy shit, this is incredible. Nothing about any of this changed for me, guys, right? It was always the ice ice bath, it was in the same place, the shower's the same place, still had the scraps of food in my compost, and my garden, you know, herbs are just are all over the place the same way. But I saw it in a different kind of way. Which is really cut, you know, which is really goes back to actually one of my favorite Dalai Lama quotes, which is it is better to want what you have than to have what you want. I've mentioned this in a few different pieces of content because it's so good. It's better to want what you have than to have what you want. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Not because wanting is bad, by the way. I want to do a major major disclosure on that one. Because trust me, I want my freaking cedar hot tub already. Come on, I want that cedar hot tub. But wanting what we already have cracks us open. It just feels good. It plugs us back into the life that we already have. It makes really kind of this mundane life that we sometimes feel as mundane feel actually pretty magical. That was a switchover for me when I walked into my garden from when I walked into it with the like, hmm, what can I change here? What do I need a weed? What do I need a da-da? What do I need to paint? To look at this freaking garden. You know, one of my favorite things about gratitude is that you can create it ahead of time. Most people think that gratitude happens or that they can only have it after that thing that you wanted occurred, right? That it happened. But you could start way before that. You get to generate gratitude way before when the thing that actually you're wanting to happen happens. Like, you know, here's an example planning a family trip, which by the way, might be what many of you are doing right now. The holiday season over there and over here, well, not so much over here, but over in all other places in the world. And many of you might actually be planning a family trip away, which I really hope for you, because adventures and family adventures are the best. So let's say let's take that as an example. Planning a family trip. You don't need to wait until you're actually on the trip to feel grateful. You don't, you don't have to be like, you know, swimming in that pool in Greece or climbing that mountain in the Dolomites in Italy, or surfing in Costa Rica to be like, man, my life is so amazing. You do not have to wait for those moments. You can feel grateful right now for the money that you've made to buy the tickets, the business that you've created to bring that money in, or for the ability to carve time out so you can have it together. For the just idea of like, I'm gonna be making memories with my family. And I'm just feeling lots of gratitude for that today. And for the fact that even the trip, even if this trip for some reason, God forbid, got canceled, you know how to create an incredible trip. You can do gratitude before, gratitude during, and gratitude after. Like it's a stacking gratitude power. That alone can shift your entire experience of life, which is pretty incredible. So those are my pieces about gratitude, guys. And what I want to leave you with really is, you know, wherever you are, you know, whether you celebrate anything this season or you don't, this is just a gorgeous moment to reset your eyes a little bit. To look around and whisper, holy shit, look at this. Look at this life of mine, and not from a place of should. You do not have to do this. You do not this is not something that you must do, but because it actually just feels good and because it's one of the simplest ways to make an air ordinary life extraordinary. Like I always like to choose on purpose intentionally what I'm thinking and believing about things in in a way that benefits me. So holy shit, look at this feels really good to me and makes me want to create more holy shit looks at look at this kind of moments and experiences and things in my life. You know what I'm saying? So before I go, I want to say something I don't say lightly. I'm genuinely deeply grateful for every single one of you. My pod, my pod squad, my people, my brave humans, the ones who choose to grow and stretch and deepen themselves every single week by listening here, by coming to episode after episode. I'm grateful that you're here. I cannot tell you those that enough. I'm grateful that my words land somewhere on someone's walk or school drop off or kitchen cleanup or whatever you're doing, listen to my podcast. I'm grateful every time someone messaged me and says, Hey, this changed something in me. You have no idea how much that means to me. It keeps me going, it keeps me creating more content, it reminds me why this work matters, all the stuff. So I just want to say thank you so much to every single one of you. So guys, happy winter. May you have a season of beautiful inwardness and beautiful outwardness. A season of the softness and the connection and a season of wanting what you already have. I love you guys. I'll see you next week.