How to Create Freedom in the Life You Already Have

What if freedom isn’t out there in some faraway future, but waiting in the life you already have?

In this episode, I share one of the most powerful stories I’ve ever heard, about a woman who turned a coffee can and a dollar bill into proof that she could create something bigger for herself. You’ll walk away with inspiration and practical ways to start your own “coffee can” practice — the small, doable things that can change everything over time.

 Inside this episode:

• The trap of the “I can’t because…” stories we tell ourselves
• A true story of resilience that will shift how you see your own possibilities
• How to create your own “coffee can” — small, consistent actions that move you toward the life you want
• Ideas for entrepreneurs, healers, parents, and anyone in a tough season to start right now

Free resources to help you get started:

 Grab your free Not Your Mama’s Schedule Workbook → www.tamarcoaching.com Book a free consult with me → www.tamarcoaching.com/consult

Because your story isn’t finished yet,  and your coffee can might just be the thing that changes everything.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:12

Welcome back to the podcast, everybody. So fun to be here. We've got a really fun episode in store for all y'all. So that's so weird, by the way. I never say y'all, but here I am saying y'all. So let's just jump right in because I want to say a little something about one of my favorite things, which is storytelling. One of my favorite things about being human is that we are storytelling species. We love to tell stories. I personally love to tell stories. I personally love hearing stories. We've been doing this since the very beginning, sitting around fires, women's circles, passing down legends, sharing the little details of daily life. It's literally how we learned about one another. It's how we learn from each other. How we pass on wisdom, how we make sense of our lives. And it's also one of my favorite ways to coach and one of my favorite ways to teach in coaching. Because you know what a good story can do? It can slip right past your defenses and land somewhere very deep, somewhere that logic alone cannot reach. So today's episode is just that. A story I personally can't get out of my head that I want to share with you guys. It's been quietly like rolling around in the background of my mind for years. And I come back to it over and over when I need a reminder of what is possible. And I want you to hear about it too. So that's what we're doing today. We're doing a little storytelling. So get cozy with your blankie and your cozy drink and all the things that you do when you hear a story when you're a little kid. But before we get to that story, let's just take a few minutes to give a shout out about our own stories for a second. This is certainly something I do in my coaching all day long. We talk about what my client stories are, right? I coach a lot of different people, creative entrepreneurs, healers, parents, people in transition, people with big dreams and complicated lives, all of it. And sometimes in our sessions, they hit a wall. My clients will hit a wall. They'll feel stuck in their own story. The stories they've been telling themselves the second the world told them it's no longer safe to be them. When we were little kids, we didn't really have stories. We just did our thing. We wanted to laugh out loud. We'd laugh out loud. If we wanted to wear a tutu to the grocery store, that's what we'd do. We just did our thing. Then suddenly, in the middle of this little childhood that we had, all of a sudden, we get stuck in these stories. And believe that like, and just kind of believe them over and over and over. So some of the stories, you know, that can be something like, I can't do that because I have little kids at home. Or I can't do that because I'm taking care of my parents. Or I can't do that because I'm in debt. I can't do that because I'm overweight. I can't do that because I'm already behind. I can't do that because I'm too old. I can't do that. You guys can fill in the blank of your own. I can't do that. And here's what I tell them very lovingly. enchantingly, but oftentimes very directly. There are people out there right now with your exact circumstances, with your exact story, the same number of kids or the same constraints or the same challenges doing the things that you want to do, and they're doing them. And I tell them this not to shame them, not to like put pressure on them, but to remind them, if you're really wanting something, It's possible. And that possibility is so freaking exciting and feels so good to know that's actually in your control. But that story of yours that you're holding on to is so, so, so boring and ridiculously average. And so I let them know that these stories that we're holding on to of why we can't do something, why we're not good enough for something, any of that, are just stories that we're holding onto and other folks who might have the same quote unquote stories are out there doing the thing. So it clearly means that it's possible if and when we wanna do them. Okay, so let's go back to the story I was originally making a podcast about just for a moment. All right, well, I first heard this story from a mentor of mine during a five-day in-person workshop that I had with her. Thank you so much for having me. to share a story about her mom. And this is the story I'm going to share with you guys today. She told her when she and her siblings were little, five kids, I think between the ages of two and 10, right? Two and 10. Maybe you folks out there have kids who are that age now or had that, so you know exactly what that's like, two and 10. Her father got up one day and left, just left out of nowhere. No warning, no plan, just gone. Her mom, obviously, was very heartbroken, terrified, and completely on her own. However, that very same day, she made a very big and bold decision. She said to herself, this is not going to be my whole story. I refuse to believe I will always feel this much pain and this much struggle because So she did something pretty damn cool, you guys. Check this out. What she did was she took an empty coffee can. I'm not sure if we have coffee cans. I'm not a coffee drinker, so I don't really know. But how I'm picturing these coffee cans, I can't picture them in a grocery store at the moment, but like big, huge coffee cans. So she took an empty coffee can and she dropped in a single dollar bill and decided she would do that every single day. And while she was in pure survival mode, remember, her husband just left her. She has five children under the age of 10. So she was in total survival mode. And, you know, even money was obviously painfully tight. She decided she just knew, you know, she knew the dollar wouldn't change everything overnight. But she knew that it was a start and it was a seed for something. So she kept going day after day and week after week, year after year. She would tuck those coffee cans into the back of her closet and it was like a ritual she had where she'd take it out, she'd plop in$1, close it up, put it in the back of her closet every single day. And 20 years later, when her kids were all grown, she cracked them open and And she cashed in that money. And she did something really freaking cool with it. She bought herself a ticket to sail around the world for a whole year. And as my mentor and this woman sat and spoke to each other in this bookstore, her mom was sailing across the sea. I think she said she was in Italy at that moment, living her best life. This woman who... went from total devastation, complete survival mode, had no idea what she was doing. She was able to kind of peek up, peek her head up for just a moment to be able to do one kind thing for herself, one kind act for herself that later helped create this life that was so freaking fantastic that she was sailing around the world for an entire year. How amazing. Good is that story. I think about it all the time. And now you guys get to think about it all the time. So, I mean, what's the main takeaway here? I think there's obvious takeaways that you're probably even just concluding in your own mind and having in your own thoughts right now. But obviously the coffee can wasn't about the money, right? It's not about the actual money. It was about giving herself proof every single day that she was still moving towards something better. even in the middle of a really hard season, right? And that's the thing I want you to hear today. Your, you know, quote unquote coffee can can look like a thousand different things. It's just the smallest, real, doable thing you can commit to now that moves you towards the life you want. I mean, isn't this what we're doing here on this podcast, guys? Brave little things. Hello, right? This should be like our, can a story be like your anthem? Not your anthem, but you're talking about your, what is it? Not masquerade. You know what I'm talking about, right guys? Your theme song, right? Right? This is it. This is exactly what we're talking about. We're talking about like$1 a day kinds of things. And if you want to know, want in on a little secret that's become my coffee can moment, I've got something very exciting brewing in my life right now. I kind of decided, I don't know if it was last week, maybe it's been two weeks even now. I kind of had this hit where I felt like I want to go on a little adventure. I Love adventure and traveling, which I think I've spoken with you guys about. When my kids were little, we did a bunch, but I always craved more. I wanted to like really world school my kids where you take them out of school for like years at a time and you just travel. And it just never happened. It never came to be. And so I had this hit about a week and a half ago, two weeks ago, where I was like, you know what? I want to go and live as a digital nomad for a month somewhere really cool. And, you know, and just like, feel what it feels like to be working and adventuring at the same time. So it's definitely a huge deal, a huge ask. I mean, I've got four kids, a husband, a business, a life. It's not like I'm a single 22-year-old, which is like most of the digital nomads. But I just felt like that would feel scary. That would get my heart rate going. That would be like really exciting and really fun. So You know, basically what's happening now is I'm kind of like putting, cashing in my little$1. So at first, I really, my$1 was, you know, just really deciding, is this what I'm wanting? And what's more information can I give myself about it? Like, what sounds exciting about it? Why would I do it? Are there places I'd want to go? Okay. right? And then the next$1 cash in was like having a conversation with my husband, you know, which I totally took him out for his like favorite vegan Indian food to butter him up, to share the idea. And to my pleasant surprise and not surprise, because he's so amazing. He was like, totally, let's see if we can do this for you. Sounds amazing. So every like everything I'm doing is I want I'm not like creating this overnight. This might not happen till next year. Like, I don't know. But all I know is that that sounds exciting to me. And every day now I will do a$1 move, right? My coffee can move to move closer to it. So Let me give you some examples maybe for you. Like let's say you're a creative entrepreneur. I know a lot of my listeners out there, many of my clients are creative entrepreneurs. So maybe something like writing 200 words of your book every morning, even if the rest of the day explodes and nothing has gotten done, right? Maybe posting one piece of imperfect content a week instead of waiting until like it's ready could be your coffee can move, right? Spending 15 minutes a day learning a new skill for your business. Something like that. And if you're, let's say, many of my folks are also healers, service providers. So reaching out to one potential collaborator every Friday. That'd be your Friday tradition. Sending one follow-up email a day to reconnect with past clients. Recording a quick voice note of your thoughts for a future workshop idea. You can do that once a week. once a day. So the idea is that like lives and businesses are not created with an already full can of$1 bills. We have to find the coffee can, we have to open it up, and we have to be the ones who are putting$1 at a time. And that's how we create full coffee cans that we get to cash in and travel around the world, right? Also, by the way, I've got lots of parents here, right? All the different things. Let's give it a couple more examples. So let's say if you're a parent, 10 minutes of movement for yourself before everyone else wakes up. That's a beautiful thing. I have just a client who just did that. She's got four kids, young kids, and she started waking up, I think it was 15 or 20 minutes before they wake up. And she does a 10 minute meditation and a 10 minute journaling. And she feels like a brand new person. Another thing is saying yes to one playdate swap a week. So you get an hour to yourself. That's an amazing idea. What do you think, guys? I think that's so beautiful. I actually did that also when I had little kids. Reading one page of a book before bed just for you right before you crash out, start the day as new, just committing to like, I'm going to just read one page from my book that just like fills me up. A few other ideas of somebody for folks out there who are just like kind of really going through it. Setting a timer for five minutes to tidy one small corner of your space. Going outside once a day to take one deep breath of fresh air. Or you actually can put one dollar in an actual jar. Just to prove to yourself that you can start something, right? This is the idea here, guys. We are just trying to start something. Your coffee can does not have to be flashy. Although it can, you could totally decorate it like kindergarten style, you know, like putting pretty paper and glitter. That actually could be really fun if you actually do have a coffee can. It just has to be consistent. It just has to be like something that you're willing to show up for. And the smaller it is, the smaller action you take, the more able you will be to be consistent. It's your way of saying to yourself, I'm moving towards something, even if I'm not there yet, which is truly like 90% of our lives, guys, right? 90% of our lives, we are moving towards something that we're not there yet, right? But we want to be there. We know we're going to get there. Or if we don't know we're going to get there, at least these actions can say something, can kind of communicate to ourselves that like part of me does feel like I'm going to get there. So I want you guys to ask yourselves, what's your coffee can? What's the smallest, most doable thing you can start today that your future self will look back on and say, thank you for doing that. If you want some help figuring that out, because I know that's a big question. And I definitely encourage you guys to take the time and go to places that allow your mind to really go and think. Sometimes for some folks, it's the shower. Some folks, it's a great car ride, a nice walk, yoga, whatever. But I want you to really think on that question. What's the smallest, most doable thing you can start today that your future self will look back on and be like, dude, Thank you for hooking me up. And again, if you want help working in this direction, I have two very stellar offers for you guys, okay? Both are free. Number one, you can grab my free, what's called Not Your Mama Scheduling Workbook. It's kind of your coffee can planner for your time, your energy, and your dreams. It is a beautiful way to schedule your Looking at your energy and looking at your dreams and creating a schedule that works for you during your life. It literally is kind of like, how do I do that one step a day? How do I get it on the calendar? And you can get that directly on my website at Tamar Coaching. Oh my gosh, I kind of forgot my website, guys. I think it is Tamar at Coaching. I never remember any of these things. Okay. No, I do remember it. It's so easy that it's hilarious that I forgot it. TamarCoaching.com. There you go, guys. That's all it is. And I forgot it. If you go to my website, TamarCoaching.com, I'll put it into the show notes, obviously. All you have to do is click on that big fat button that says, show me how, and you'll get the free workbook. It's that simple. That's hilarious, by the way, guys. That's totally how my brain works. There's certain things that I will remember a client detailed story from a year ago, but those kinds of things, forget it. I'll never remember the name of a book. That's very funny. Anyway, okay. And the second... Thank you so much. Most folks who I've heard numerous times, a lot, a lot, a lot from folks who have these calls with me that even just after that consult call where they literally they haven't paid me any money and some of them will don't pay me money. Some of them decide not to do coaching for whatever reason, but things change for them. Suddenly they they're following on their socials have jumped. Suddenly, two different clients who were like not interested, all of them very interested in working with them, different kinds of things, just completely just see that you being like, hey, universe, I'm doing something. I'm doing my$1 coffee can move. It just like opens everything up. You guys know how that works. So again, you can, and you can also, also my website, go ahead and grab yourself a slot there or be in touch with me directly. And that is again, tamarcoaching.com slash consult. Again, I will put all of that in the show notes. So you guys, I hope you feel as inspired by that story as I have. And it comes up for you and over and over just to really remind yourself of the We're not trapped in our stories. Our stories are not who we are. They're simply thoughts that we keep on telling ourselves. They're simply opinions that our brains keep on offering us over and over, but they are not who we are. And that far beyond those stories that we keep on telling ourselves is a world of possibilities. And They're out there and we can help create them and we don't have to create them overnight. We can create them one coffee can, filled coffee can at a time. So there you go, guys. I love you so much. That's what I have today. And I hope you come back. Every week we drop a new podcast with a new subject, new everything. I hope you come back for more. I love you guys so much. Have a beautiful day. See you next time.