Why You Keep Procrastinating and How to Move Forward

Why is it so hard to do the thing you say you want to do? 

Now, THAT is the question.

In today’s episode, we’re getting real about the moments when you’re motivated in theory… but somehow still avoid the project, the post, the pitch, the next step. Whether you’ve been ghosting your own goals or just feeling stuck, we’ll walk through five sneaky reasons you’re not following through—and how to shift out of them with more ease, clarity, and self-trust.

This isn’t about forcing yourself to be productive. It’s about understanding what’s really going on underneath the avoidance and learning to work with your mind, not against it.

You’ll hear:

• Why your brain resists doing what you actually want to do
• The most common patterns that block action (and how to shift them)
• A coaching reframe that will change how you think about failure
• Simple, powerful ways to get back into momentum without shame

And please, dear One, remember: Hey, you’re just human!  And you can always begin again.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:12

Oh, hey, friends. Welcome back to the podcast. Today, we got some a juicy topic. I know that is very dear to many folks heart, which is procrastination. Everybody loves a good procrastinator. I know I've got a bunch of you out there. So that's what we're talking about today. We're specifically talking about though, that stuck feeling, the one where you tell yourself, I really, really want to do this thing. But somehow, you don't know how, you have no idea, but four days in a row go by and you still haven't done it. That's what we're talking about, right? That workshop you said you're going to write, that offer you meant to put together, that piece of art or the newsletter or the proposal or whatever it is that's been sitting on your to-do list, waiting patiently or impatiently for you. And yet somehow you keep finding yourself doing the dishes or scrolling or watching, you know, episode three of Emily in Paris, like your freaking life and career depends on it. Yeah, that's what we're talking about right there, right there, right? And I don't say this to shame you at all. You might, a lot of you might feel really called out right now in this moment. I say this because I've been there and I oftentimes am there, right? And we all have been there and we all go back to there at some point, even when we kind of nip it in the bud, we don't fully nip it in the bud. And what I want to do today is really break it down, really get into the nitty gritty of it all. Because this feeling of I want to, but I can't, can feel so painful, right? Or the I want to, but somehow it doesn't happen. It feels like it's literally not in our hands. It feels like it's like something that completely is in someone else's control. We don't know who the procrastinating gods, I don't know, but not ours. And that feeling can suck. So here's what I do know. I know 100% that it can be in your control again, not through force, and definitely not through shame, but through deep awareness. So today I'm walking you through five reasons you might not be doing the thing you promised yourself you do and what you can do to shift each one. So let's do it. You guys excited? Let's go. All right. So let me just jump right in. Let's do reason number one, right? Reason why, number one, this can happen to you over and over. You made the thing either too important or not important enough. Because sometimes we hype something up so much in our heads that it becomes paralyzing. If I don't get this done today, I'll never reach my goals. If this launch doesn't go well, I'm a total failure. And other times we can go the opposite extreme way. You know, if it's not a big deal, if I skip a day, I'll do it tomorrow or next week, or maybe I didn't really want it anyway, right? Neither one works, right? When you're too extreme or you're too relaxed, right? It's like it does not work. It does not create an environment. It can do some environment to like want to make the thing happen. Too much pressure makes you shut down and too little makes you drift far away. You want that middle ground energy, which I know for myself is not the easiest. I'm not usually a middle ground kind of girl. I'm either very much the extreme, but middle ground energy is something like I'm choosing to do this because it matters. And also, I'll be okay if it's imperfect or takes longer than I planned. That's how we keep moving, right, without collapsing underneath it all. So, you know, the idea, like this is really like a huge part of actually getting this podcast off the ground because I've been thinking about it for a while, really think, you know, and I really in my mind made this massive deal, huge deal. I got, you know, it's like I got to know what I'm doing. I got to know what I'm sharing. I know, you know, I got to know the technical stuff and like it's got to be amazing. It's like I can put this podcast out once. People are going to listen. If it doesn't, it fails and people are going to listen to another podcast I put on. Like I made such a big deal about it. And I was like, listen, you know, Do I really have to do a podcast? I don't have to do a podcast. I mean, there's lots of people who do podcasts and they have successful businesses and da, da, da, da. And it just was kind of flip-flopping between all those things. And then I was like, you know what? I want to do a podcast. I think I'd be very good at a podcast. Most importantly, I think I'd have a lot of fun doing a podcast. And as well as the fact that I think I can basically have deeper, more meaningful conversations with my people via podcast. And I think that'll be fun. And it might take me some time to figure out some things and that's okay. Once I went into that middle ground space, boom, podcast, I hit launch and we went. Right. So that's what we're talking about here. Not making it too big of a deal and not making it too little of a deal. All right. Reason number two, why this kind of procrastinating and not making it happen kind of energy happens for us. You think you need to feel like it. You think you need to feel like it. You feel like you need to feel like you want to work and you want to make things happen. This comes up all the time with my clients, all the time. So I'm guessing that it comes up with you all the time as well. But we wait until we want to. We wait until we feel inspired and ready. But most things that matter, you won't feel like doing in the moment because it's literally not how our brains are wired. Our brains are not wired for that kind of a thing. You think it's like, you know, I think about grocery shopping, for example. Do I wake up jazzed up that I want to go grocery shopping for my family every Wednesday? That's what that's my shopping day usually. Do I like wake up and be like, yeah, I am so excited and so inspired to walk down that vegetable aisle and pick the most amazing vegetables. I mean, listen, maybe some people out there feel that way. I definitely do not. I actually dread it. I actually, I hate the cold fridge section and the cart with the squeaky wheels and the endless unloading. You know, when I get home, like I'm not into any of that stuff, but I go because it matters. And because my kids need food and I need food and I want to make sure that we're eating healthy foods and all the kind of stuff. And I'm always glad when it's done. And this is the same with your creative work or your business stuff. You have to start before you feel like it. It might feel messy. You might feel tired. You definitely probably feel like you don't want to do it, but you just have to do it. You can't wait around for wanting to do it. And I promise you, by the way, your future self will most definitely thank you. It happens every single time, right? We know like if you've, you know, heard me speak a lot and, you know, I've mentioned, I'm not sure if I've mentioned on the podcast yet, this idea of like, you know, motivation. That motivation is like, I give the comparison of like commitment and motivation. And motivation is like that really cute guy at camp who, you know, Likes you and he comes over and he flirts with you and maybe he takes your hand and you feel like all these butterflies and you're like so excited. It's so fun. And the next day, you know, happens and and he doesn't come over to you. He actually is going and he's flirting with somebody else. And, you know, you still have this like longing for him, but like, it's like, you know, it's not happening for you, as opposed to commitment. Commitment's the guy who comes over at camp and is talking to you and is noticing you and is, you know, really attentive to you and the next day comes and And he comes back and he's talking to you and he's attentive to you and all those kinds of things. And though you might not feel as excited and all those like insane butterflies with this particular guy, you still feel this connection. And you know that he's going to be coming back day after day after day and that he's really into you. So guys, we can't wait around for that cute little camp guy who may or may not come. We've got to be hanging out with commitment and knowing that I have to do this. Sometimes I'm going to feel really excited about it. Sometimes I'm not. And that's just how it goes. Okay. How'd you like that little metaphor there? You into it? Any campers out there? I went to camp my whole life. Loved it. Okay. So number three, the third reason why we really want to do the thing and it just doesn't happen. You're not giving it a real chance. And this is a big one for entrepreneurs and creatives. We try something for like five days. That's actually even just being generous. Sometimes it's two or one. We post about our offer twice. And when it doesn't work, and you can't see me, but I'm putting in air quotes, work, we think it's not meant to be. The results like, but the bottom line, guys, results take time. They take time. This is a lesson in trust. The hardest thing we have to learn as entrepreneurs is learning trust and that things take time. We're like in an era where we just see constant folks like talking about how like instant, you know, success and all these kinds of things. And it's like our brains eat it up because that's what it wants. It wants instant gratification, but a actual successful business. A life that you want to live is not going to happen overnight. And so we can't try something for five days and be like, okay, we, you know, post our offer five different times. And like, nobody's even, you know, saying anything about it. No one's reaching out, right? It's because people don't see it. A lot of times people don't see it and don't see it enough and have to be reminded and they're busy in their own lives. And we have to be there trying it again and again. Right. Trust that your efforts are adding up and trust that you'll see results just not always on your timeline. Most of the time it won't be on your timeline. I like to make a goal and then literally do it as a physical thing or kind of let it go free as if it's like a dove and kind of like, I don't know when it's going to happen. I know it's going to happen. I just don't know when it allows me to like really release the timeline, which is such a big deal for me. 100%. The most successful people in business, they're not the smartest or the most charismatic, the coolest outfit. They're the ones who stay in the game time and time again. They keep posting. They keep trying. They keep learning. They keep tweaking. They keep falling. They keep flopping. They keep getting up. They don't ghost themselves when things get quiet or not working, quote unquote. If you've been showing up, and it feels like nothing's happening, don't quit yet. It's usually right when things start to churn. You got to stay with it. And if you're feeling really antsy, you know, give yourself an actual date of a timeline. If you're really feeling like I'm going to quit, that's it, I'm out. Give yourself a timeline. Say, okay, you know, in 60 days, if... I keep on posting every day and I keep on doing this particular thing every day and nothing happens. Then I'm giving myself permission to walk away. Right. But it's almost every single time that we're just not giving it enough time. It happens also not just with business stuff. It happens a lot of things like if you're, you know, let's say getting a face, you know, you got yourself a face cream. You want to look younger. You want to your wrinkles to go, whatever it is like, you know, like try and be like it's not working like after like, you know, two weeks, right? It's like, yeah, well, I mean, yeah, your skin needs time to get re-nourished. Like it takes time. Okay, number four. I think you got that one. You make it about you. I actually just shared this online stories in a different form. But reason number four, why we like have such a hard time sitting down at our desks and making it happen is because you make it about you. Here's how this one shows up. You start planning an offer or creating content and suddenly your brain goes nuts, spirals into, but what if no one signs up? What if people think I'm like trying too hard? What if it flops? And just like that, you freeze up because now it's no longer about the people you want to help. It's about proving your worth. And that is the way that you put too much pressure on yourself. But what if instead of what if this doesn't work, you asked, I wonder who needs to hear this today. I wonder who will feel seen by what I have to say today. Because when you shift the focus to service and connection, the pressure drops. It stopped being about performance. It starts being about like the real purpose that's behind this. I do this little trick, this little hack every time I'm about to post something that feels really like risky. It feels like really like sharing something that I know a lot of folks would have a lot of opinions on. And I'll say to myself, listen, if there is one person sitting on the couch right now today, feeling lonely, feeling like they are alone in this, and my sharing will allow them to understand that they are not, it's worth it. And no longer becomes about me, it becomes about them. Okay, reason number five, you're afraid of failing. I mean, come on, guys. This is like, of course, this is the old human, I don't know what, story, trick, whatever it is, but you're afraid of failing. It's like so boring, but it is so part of our lives, right? What if it doesn't land? What if people judge me? What if I try and doesn't work? Yeah, listen, all that might happen. In fact, if you're really good, it will happen. But failure isn't the worst thing that can happen, right? You know why? Because it's literally just an emotion that's happening inside of your body. It's this vibrational experience that your body is having and only for about 90 seconds. We think that it is like death sentence. We think that like crazy, awful things will happen to us, the world, the people we love if we fail because it feels like doesn't feel good. But it literally the worst thing that could happen if we fail is that we have an emotion that doesn't feel good. You know, emotions like disappointment, embarrassment, vulnerability, all of these will pass. And when you build tolerance for those feelings, you also build power and you build capacity to come back again and again and again. That's why people who, you know, are successful are so good because they really build this capacity of like, you know, of being able to feel these uncomfortable feelings and still go on. Right. So here's actually one of my favorite tricks I like to do. I do this with my clients all the time. They're like, they literally give me this like blank stare when I tell them, but then they love it. Okay. It's called a flopping file. Okay. I actually named that from a client because she like, she was like said something about flopping. I'm like, that is the best idea. That's the best word ever. So flopping file, you want to make a note of every so-called failure, like it's a badge of honor. We want to start changing the script, looking forward to failing, realizing that every time we fail, we're getting closer and closer to our success. So for example, you can make it a flopping failure on your computer, on your phone, wherever you want to put it. So you posted your offer and no one responded. Check. You get yourself a point. You get a flopping failure point. You did a live and not And only like, let's say, I don't know, your cousin showed up, but that was it. Check. You get a point. You pitched your art to a gallery and they said, no, they don't want to show your art. Check. There you go. Right? So it's like the idea of when you are putting in time and effort and putting yourself out there and putting yourself in what, you know, risky places and it's not working, good for you. And you get a freaking point for that. If it doesn't work, great. Okay, let's put a point there because every time it doesn't work, you're getting closer to the times that it are going to work. I remember Elizabeth Gilbert saying how, you know, before Eat, Pray, Love happened, how many rejection letters she got. And she would put them into a little drawer so she could look at them over and over and over. And really, like, there's a pride. Like, look at me. There's nothing more badass than a freaking woman who is like constantly going out there to keep on going every time she gets rejected. Like, can you think of a braver thing? I literally could not. So, Because the more you're willing to fail, we also know the faster you're going to learn, right? You always learn from the failures. You don't always learn from the successes, to be honest. Like we want them. They're great. They're fabulous. But you don't always learn from them. But the failures, the flops, you always learn from if you take the time to learn from them. So we know the people who win are the ones who just keep on showing up. It's a no-brainer, right? It doesn't take rocket science to figure that one out. Even when it's cringy, even when it's quiet, even when they're scared, they're still showing up. And that's what makes them so freaking successful and so awesome. So listen, if you're stuck here, this is what I want to offer. Don't start with pressure, guys. Don't kind of do the spiral where you probably do where you're like, at the end of the day, you're like, I can't believe I didn't get to that again today. I can't believe I didn't write the outline for my offer. I've been saying I've been wanting to do it for two weeks. I can't believe I haven't been doing it. Don't start there. Start with understanding. Start with compassion. Start with asking yourself, which of these five might be at play for me today? And then try again. from a softer place, a steadier place, a wiser place, right? This isn't about being a productive machine. It's about learning how to be human, who keeps showing up for the things that matter to them without self-punishment, without shame. You're just in a process, right? That's all. You're in a process. You're a human being trying to figure this out, working with a human brain to a human brain that would like love all day to just be watching Netflix, eating ice cream and having the time of their lives. And so it is hard to come back to the table. And the best thing that we could do for ourselves is meet ourselves with compassion and love and investigating what's going on here. What is happening? Why might I be kind of keeping myself away from what I believe really matters to me? Okay. Listen, guys, those are the five main reasons why you're like not showing up the way you want to be showing up. And I hope that was felt really, really helpful to you. And I just want to say thank you guys for coming week after week and listening to these episodes. I really hope this particular mini masterclass on how to get it done. Right. Really helped you in that particular way. And I want to say also, if this episode helped you, you know, feel a little bit more clear or human or hopeful. Just can you take 10, 10 seconds and share it with a friend who might be in the same stuck place as you right now? It would be so amazing. And you can follow the show by tapping the little plus sign or follow button in your podcast app. It helps you never miss an episode. It will always tell you, oh, new episode coming in. And it helps more people discover this beautiful space that we're creating here. And if you've got a second to leave a quick rating or review, oh, I would be so appreciative of that. I would love that. You just scroll to the bottom of the show page in Apple Podcasts or Spotify and hit the stars and write a few words about why you love to listen here. It would be so amazing. So thank you for being here. Thank you for trying again. Thank you for working so hard on being a human in a world that makes it not always so easy to be a human. I love you guys so much. I will catch you next time. Sending lots of love. Brave little tribe. Brave little things tribe. Sending lots of love.