What You Should Never Do as a Newbie Business Owner

Ever had an idea that lit you up, only to talk yourself out of it five minutes later? Or shared it with someone you love and watched their doubt snuff out your spark?

In episode 3, we’re talking about one of the biggest mistakes new (and seasoned!) entrepreneurs make: sharing your dream too soon with the wrong people. I’ll break down why your well-meaning family and friends can accidentally crush your vision—and what to do instead.

You’ll hear a powerful story about a client with a dream studio, the surprising homework I gave her, and how to protect your ideas like the sacred little seedlings they are. Plus, I’ll share my “Quiet Yes” practice and a few concrete steps to help you hold strong to your desires—even if no one else gets it yet.

If you’ve ever felt like your vision needs a little protection and a whole lotta belief, this one’s for you. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_01: 0:12

Welcome back, everybody. Welcome back to another amazing episode of Brave Little Things. So happy you're here. As you guys probably saw the title of today's episode, what you should never do as a newbie business owner. But I really want to say, guys, stick around. Even if you're not a business owner or you've been a business owner for a long time, this episode is still going to be for you. There'll still be much value that you will be able to get from it. So stick around because we're going to have some fun. All right, guys, let me ask you something. Have you ever had an exciting idea that made your entire body light up and for days you couldn't stop thinking about it and you just knew with your full self that you need to go for it, but then only to talk yourself out of it five or 10 minutes later? Have you ever had this experience? Or maybe after it living in your brain for two months straight, you finally worked up the courage to tell someone only to have them say, hmm, are you sure that's a good idea? And then suddenly that fire that you felt, that excitement, that joy, that like, oh my God, I'm about to change my life feeling, gone, like completely gone. Has this ever happened to you before? By the way, this quick little thing, but I once heard from another coach, a colleague of mine, actually, she broke down decision making and knowing when something is right for you in a really simple way and a really great way. That was hilarious. She says, okay, ask yourself, is this idea a fuck no? Or is it a fuck yes? Or is it a fuck yeah? Right. That's the fuck. Yeah. Is the like, oh, my gosh. Yes. But I'm also really I'm really nervous about it. It's going to it's freaking me out. But yes, this is like what I'm supposed to be doing. Right. All have very different levels of desire or also reluctance, reluctancy to something. Right. Then saying you want to say like which one you intuitively choose out loud and then feel it in your body how it feels. So good, right? I think it's so good. I think it's like, because most people are like, is this a fuck yeah or is this a fuck no? But it's like, you forget about the third option, which is like,

SPEAKER_00: 3:01

fuck

SPEAKER_01: 3:02

yeah, right? And that seems to like really, you know, really bring it home for me personally. Anyway, so let's go back to this, what we're talking about, we're chatting about here. So I just want to say, I see this like flip-flop of obsessively thinking and wanting something and then suddenly being all, oh, forget about it. happen all the time with new business owners, but also with business owners who've also been in the game for a while, but have this new idea or new offer for their business. Because self-doubt runs deep and has crazy stamina, right? She tends to stick around at all stages of business very annoyingly. Do you guys feel this, right? It's like self-doubt can freaking run a marathon for like, she could run like 12 marathons and she would be good. She's like sticking around. So anyway, so if you're in the early stages of building something from scratch or trying to implement something new in your business, and again, like I mentioned, honestly, even if you're not an entrepreneur, this episode is going to kind of rock your world too because this message is really for anyone who's dreaming of doing things outside of what's considered the norm. Like maybe you're dreaming of doing something like dropping everything to live in an island, like one of the little islands in Thailand for five months. P.S., by the way, I have a lot of friends who are doing this right now. Oh, my gosh. It's like I'm so enjoying their Instagram. I'm like, yes, give me more. I want to see every little coconut you drink, please. Like for real. It like brings me so much joy. Or maybe you want to homeschool your kids because creating a curriculum of your dreams and more freedom for your kids sounds like the best idea ever. Or maybe you want to have a home birth and you come from a family of doctors, right? Anything that is like really feels like out of the norm that you want to create in your life. Because either way, you'll walk away from this episode with real insights on how to protect your vision and actually give it a real chance to grow. Okay, so I just started working with this new client last week. This is like a perfect example. In our first session, she casually mentioned that she's always wanted to become a professional ceramicist. She showed me pictures of her stuff, guys. Holy moly, this woman is freaking good. And she dreams of like making it a living for herself, doing what she loves. But Whenever she entertains the idea, she only lets herself think about it for like really a moment before completely abandoning it, completely walking away. So right now, she just does it as a hobby, right? She does it on the side, even though she found, by the way, guys, she found the most perfect studio. She was just kind of like, well, let me see what happens. It was in the moment. It was like that moment when she was like really considering it before she abandoned it. found an amazing studio just five minutes away from her home with an adorable turquoise couch, a little fridge to keep all of her little snacks and all her stuff, a little sink, and apparently the best wheel she's ever seen, which I have no idea what she's talking about with that because I'm not a ceramicist, but apparently it was the best wheel. I don't know how different they are, but I guess they are. But despite everything, she stopped herself from putting down a deposit to secure the space. So when I asked her why, she pulled back. She told me that every time she brought it up with her family and friends, they'd all list all the reasons why it wasn't a good idea, why she probably wouldn't make it as a real ceramicist. So she was all, hmm, okay, good points here. Forget it. I'll just keep it as a hobby. I mean, I'm sure that many of you guys know exactly this experience because this is a very human experience. This happens all the time. By the way, you guys want to know what her homework was for the week, although I'd actually call it soulful work assignment. Makes it a lot more fun, I think. So I told her that she needs to gather a list, create a list of insanely successful ceramicists all over the world who are seriously making it work and getting the fame and the money and the honor from their art being shared with the world. I wanted her brain to experience some serious evidence that That not only can this happen, but it actually does. And with a lot of people. And you know, if other people are making it happen, that does tell your brain that that must mean that it could happen for you too. I mean, they're just other, they're just humans. They're just people, right? They're just like people doing things. And I'm a person, I could do this. Kind of allows your brain to get a little bit of a, huh, maybe this could happen. Kind of sneaky assignment, huh? Right, guys? That's what I do. I give out a lot of sneaky assignments. I like to be very sneaky with your brains. All right, listen, the feeling of not getting the support you need from your loved ones and then convincing yourself to just give up, this happens more times than it should. And this is why I have created this exact episode around this topic. I think that it needs an entire podcast, if not like a few episodes to talk about this. So, What should we do about it? How can we help ourselves not abandon what we really, really want in our lives, right? Well, this here is pretty much the entire thesis of this podcast, right? So this is a good point to listen up if you have it. If you've been kind of zoning out or anything like that, this is the point. Do not, under any circumstances, share your new dreams and vision with people who love you the most. I'm going to say it again because it's so important. Do not, under any circumstances, share your new dreams and vision with people who love you the most. I know this might sound counterintuitive, like why wouldn't you want to share your big ideas with the people you care about and love the most? And also who you're just actually physically around the most probably, right? Well, while you're still finding your confidence, right? It's your job to protect. It's your number one job to protect your little seed of a dream. You need to keep it safe and nourished until it's strong enough to face the world. I mean, think about it, guys. If you planted, let's say, a little delicate sprout, would you rip it out of the ground every few days to ask someone, hey, you think this will grow? Like, you think this is a good idea? You think it will grow? Of course not. It would die before it ever had a chance. And this is what happens over and over and over again with folks who have ideas and dreams for themselves in building a business or other ways. Your business and new dreams and ideas are exactly like this. Your mom, your favorite aunt, your best friend aren't trying to hold you back because they don't love you and want the best for you. It's actually the opposite. They love you and want to protect you from being hurt with everything they have. Everything. They don't want you to experience the failure or embarrassment. So their way of loving you is to try to convince you to play it safe, right? They have the same human brain as you do. So their job is to keep you safe, quote unquote, I'm putting, you can't see me doing the quotes, but I'm doing them, right? To keep you safe. But what they don't have in common with you is your dream and how it makes you feel when you think about it coming to life, right? But what they also might know, or at least their brains might not know or want to remember, you are here. You're not just here to survive, right? You're here to thrive, not just to survive, but to actually thrive. Am I right? I mean, if I'm wrong, then you could totally stop this episode right here. But if I'm right, then you need to give this entire episode a real listen in. You want to bring your unique magic to the world because you know deep down you're damn good at it. And that can be life changing for you because that fire, your vision, your clarity, that is all yours to protect. It's your responsibility to protect. And one of the bravest things you can do as an entrepreneur, let people be wrong about you. God, how brave is that, right? It kills most people for them to even consider the idea that someone is thinking or believing something false about them. We so desperately want people to see us and think kindly about us, highly about us, that we will fight and yell and hold these little adult tantrums, right? We totally have tantrums, by the way. It's not just for kids, not just for toddlers. We have them all the time. We hold these little adult tantrums until they agree with us and believe us. Or we just walk away from it entirely to avoid the whole uncomfortable feelings, right? This is what my client has been doing. Have you guys done this before? Like, I really want you to take a moment, just a moment to pinpoint a time in your life. And it could be when you were younger, it could be in your adult life, whatever it is. But take a moment to pinpoint a time in your life when you you really, really were wanting something. But because someone in your family or close friends group thought it was a bad idea, you either threw a big adult tantrum, obsessively trying to prove to them that they're wrong, or just said, never mind, and went off to live the life they wanted you to live. Not the life that you want to live, but the life that they want you to live. I'm sure that has happened. It definitely happened to me a lot. I say a lot, a lot, a lot. So I was working with a guy, actually, whose wife kept on pushing him to get an actual job. That's what she kept on calling it, an actual job, and give up his dream business working as a videographer because she didn't believe he could make enough money to make it worth it. Even though he was only six months into the business and actually creating new clients faster than I ever saw a client create clients before. It was pretty amazing to watch. And listen, I think like it's a hard thing because in that situation, like you kind of understand, like this wife is like worried. She wants to make sure that they've got money, right? This survival thing that kind of kicks in. But it was really hard on him because he just wanted to focus in and to feel relaxed, have fun building his business. But having his wife pushing him to quit and not support him was doing, it was like adding some serious pressure on him, right? So you want to know what I told him. You know what my advice in that moment, my coaching was for him? I said, you know how the both of you can win? Let her be wrong about you and make a crazy amount of clients. And that's exactly what he did. I said, let her be wrong about you. And this way, you both could win. Because all she wants is you to make a crazy amount of clients and make money and make this business work, which is exactly what you want to do as well. Right. But when you're like so caught up in what she thinks, what she believes, you can't do that. So if you just say like, OK, like she's going to be wrong about me. It's all good. Then you both could win. Right. Seriously, guys, let them think you're being unrealistic. Let them wonder why you're doing this. Let them quietly or oftentimes not so quietly doubt you. I'm sure you guys get this from parents, in-laws, parents. maybe partners, maybe of your own kids. I can't tell you how much time my own kids, when I started my business was like, I mean, I'll tell you guys, it's actually kind of funny. And also not by my oldest was so not into me being on Instagram. He did not believe that like I could actually make money because like in their world, you know, teenagers, like they're just having fun. And it was so embarrassing for him to have me on there. Like what if his, what if his friends bumped into me or whatever? He actually, what's it called? He not, handed me, but he put in a report. He was trying to close me down basically, which is actually kind of hysterical. So it can come from all ends, not just parents and in-laws and things like that can come from your own kids. But if you like, we don't, we want to be able to like stand on our own two feet, right? And then what happens then? What happens then is when we let them let us be unrealistic, right?

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And

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Well, we go and build something so incredible that their doubt becomes irrelevant. It doesn't even matter. Because here's the thing. You don't need their permission. I know that it really feels like you do. And I know that we've all been raised to get that permission from everybody outside of us, which is why it's really hard to only rely on ourselves. It's probably the hardest thing I teach in my coaching, honestly. Self-trust. Self-love is the hardest skill to really learn and get because we spend so much time believing that other people know more than us. Other people really need to give us this permission, but you really don't. You don't even need their belief in it. You just need yours. You're the one doing the work. Am I right? You're the one waking up to every single day to doing this work. Am I right? The one whose reputation is on the line. So talk to your family and close friends. By the way, I'm certainly not saying like, okay, that's it. Your relationship is over right now until you get this off the ground. No, talk to your family and close friends. Connect with them. But talk to them about how great your kids are doing. What beautiful dress you just bought you're so excited about. What amazing trip you just booked tickets for that you can't wait to go on. Right. Keep the conversation about the dream idea, what you're like, the vision that you have, you're brewing up to yourself for the time being. Right. But not only to yourself, because who else should you share that dream with? Because, you know, it is really fun to share, which is why we do it with our people we love the most, most often. Right. Because we don't want to keep it to ourselves. It's like, oh, my God, like we're bursting from it. But who should you share your dream with? Well, other visionaries who are in the same boat as you, building their own businesses from scratch, or whatever dream and desire you have, like people who are on the same path as you, right? People who understand the journey, understand the hardships, understand the joy, understand all the different pieces. Maybe you met them at a mastermind, right? For all those coaches out there who go to masterminds, that's a great place to meet people who you can just like sit in a corner and talk about your visions all day. or a networking event, or someone you got certified with, right? If you're yoga or any kind of special certification, those are great people. Or at, you know, or that new friend you met at yoga last month, who you know also like just totally has that vibe, just jives, just, you know, you know that she's got something brewing inside of her as well. And of course, your coach. I love hearing all day long about my clients' visions. We kind of like create this like little bubble where they just get to like allow it to grow deeper and deeper and deeper. And oh, don't forget also, by the way, that sweet worker at the health food store who always seems to cheer you on. I love that. I always, wherever I go, no matter what city I live in, I always become best friends with one person at the health food store. Sometimes her name is Lucy. That's my first one, I think. And, you know, it's just like, you know, it's like, how are, so how's that going? How's that business going that you started? How's that trip you went on, right? It's kind of like a hairdresser. Hairdressers are also, by the way, a great person to chat with about that, right? These are the people who can hold space for your big vision. It reminds you that anything is possible because I always love to give like you guys concrete things you can do. not only to be left inspired here, but motivated and actually taking action, right? Listening to a podcast is a beautiful thing. And sometimes, you know, guys, sometimes that's all you actually do need. But oftentimes, you'll need a little bit more, right? A little bit of an action step that I'll give you here in your podcast. And sometimes that will be enough. But sometimes... even taking it further and deeper and coming and coaching with me and really sitting in a container for six months where we go deep into something is actually even something that many of you also will desire and want, right? But for today, let's give a little bit of focus. I'm going to give you a little bit of an action step you can take here. Here's a little something fun you can do to kind of get started. So Before you share your dream with anyone, even quote unquote the right person, all those people that I just named beforehand, right, even before them, I want you to strengthen your own belief in it first. Okay, so it kind of goes back to like what, how we think and feel about something. This is a great exercise and really strengthening your self-trust, which, by the way, is a skill that you will use daily. Time and time again in creating your business or making decisions in your life or anything like that. I call this kind of this exercise a quiet yes practice. Okay, this is what I want you guys to do. I want you to kind of close your eyes and imagine that your dream, whether it's whatever it is, I don't know, opening up a studio or launching a coaching business, selling your artwork, whatever it is, going on this exotic, amazing trip by yourself for 10 days. Imagine it already happening, right? See yourself in it and feel the feelings that you would feel, right? So you picture the clients, the work, the trip, whatever it is, the joy, the gratitude, like all the emotions, right? Just really allow yourself to give yourself some time and think about like that it's an action. It is happening. It is like it is your reality. Okay, now with this image in your mind, now with your hand on your heart, when you put your hand on your heart and your eyes closed, give yourself a quiet yes. Or like we spoke earlier, right? Maybe it's not a yes. Maybe it's a yeah. Yeah. A deep, internal kind of commitment. No one else needs to know about it, but you do. You need to know about it. Kind of seal the deal with this relationship between you and this beautiful vision, this beautiful idea. Kind of like you're asking it out. Like, want to be boyfriend and girlfriend? Vision? Idea? Want to date each other? That's kind of what you're doing. And then ask yourself this. As someone who's living this dream now, what's one small step I take today? Maybe it's researching spaces, signing up for a class to learn something, to get better on something, or setting up an Instagram page, right? Whatever moves you forward, really kind of being in this space of like, it's happening. It's an action. It's going. And I've committed to it. Like we're in a relationship now. Now, what would I do today in this space? By keeping your yes sacred and letting yourself commit before inviting others in, you give your dream that solid ground it needs to grow. It's going back to that little sprout that we're growing in the ground. We're putting it in perfectly with the perfect amount of soil and giving it a little water and just watching and noticing and having a little love affair with it, with just you and it growing. Before you kind of bring somebody over and like, look, isn't it amazing? Look how much she's growing, right? So once your own belief in this idea of when you're in your dream is rock solid, and your belief in yourself to make it happen is rock solid. I want you to go ahead and do something else. One more challenge, okay? I want you to make a list of people you've been sharing your dreams with and be brutally honest. Are they fueling your belief or making you second guess yourself, right? Again, even if these are people that you love, this has nothing to do with it. We just want to know, are they... Are they adding goodness to this? Are they making you feel more alive when you share about it? Or are they kind of killing the dream here? Make a list of those people. And then decide right now who gets access to your vision. If they don't believe in possibility of this, they don't get a front row seat to your dream. Sorry, period. Like, not happening. If they aren't like, oh my gosh, this is going to be freaking amazing and you're the perfect person to do this, they don't get to be on the list. Again, we love them. Talk about all the other topics, anything you want to besides this. And then I want you to go out and build a community around your vision. Some folks call this networking, and it can be that, but I also define networking a little differently. I also like to expand networking beyond a networking event. right? It's like meeting people, networking, it's like dating. If you want to find the guy of your dreams, you go to places that you actually want to hang out in, right? For me, that would be like song circles and dance parties, kombucha making workshops, life coach masterminds, that pretty much sums me up in a nutshell. But for others, it might be cute bar or on the corner or like a little weekend car show, you know, where they're like showing like Mercedes and Ferraris and cool cars like that or whatever it is, but you want to kind of show up to places that you want to be at because you know that other folks just like you will be there too. Listen, bottom line, stop waiting for the world to get on board. That is the bottom line here. That's pretty much what I'm saying. If you keep waiting for approval to from other people, you're going to miss the chance because while everyone else is building their dreams, you'll be stuck wondering if your sister thinks it's a good idea. I don't know. Do you think it's a good idea? I'll tell you something, guys. I wouldn't be here recording this podcast and working with clients right now if I waited around for my parents to back me up when I started my own business. They're still kind of like, so what exactly do you do again? Bless their hearts. They're so proud of me. But let's face it, coaching and entrepreneurship can be a little confusing for folks who spent their whole careers in nine to five jobs. They just don't get it. It's cool. But here's the bottom line. Giving up on your dreams just to avoid the discomfort of vulnerability, fear, self-doubt, doing something different than out of the norm isn't worth it. It's not worth it. I'm telling you. But here's what is worth it. Being in touch with your desires, committing to your dreams, showing up for yourself every single freaking day. That's what changes you as a person. And only then, once you've shown up for your dream, ask your family and your friends if they think it's a good idea. Or also maybe not, right? Maybe not. They can just come to you first as they watch you blossom and go after what you've always wanted your whole life. They can come to you and be like,

SPEAKER_00: 26:46

whoa.

SPEAKER_01: 26:47

And hey, if you want support while you're doing this, that's exactly what I'm here for. I help entrepreneurs build the kind of businesses that make people say, wow, I was so wrong about you. I help folks who... been dreaming all different kinds of things and been wanting things for themselves like crazy and writing a book or going on that trip or, you know, doing things that they never would have done and for themselves be like, well, I was wrong about myself. I can actually do this. So if that's what you want, I think let's talk. You can find me on Instagram. You can find me on Facebook. You can shoot me an email. I know you guys will find me. You'll find me if you're really, really wanting this. So yeah, Anyway, guys, that's what I got for you today. I am so proud of you, Brave Tribe. I love being here. I love sharing with you. I love connecting with you here. So until next time, have a beautiful, brave week, and I will see you and hear from you next time. All my love.